Let's go back down to the river....errr baptismal

We are so blessed. Our bobby was baptized in the river in Palisade.





Since Bobby was about ten or twelve she has told me she wanted to be baptised in the river. Her Uncle Sean obliged her, and they both froze. It was very beautiful though.




She had to be double dipped because she picked her foot up.







However finally she was able to get out of the water.


Anyway we got her home and warm, Marisela and I made bread for the supper we had dinner and went all the way back to Palisade for the Ordinance supper. I had some things to work out, and prayed the whole way there. Then when we got there they moved the benches and Shelbi gave her hand to her daddy.





What rejoicing..I expected her to give her hand earlier. But she didn't so I thought I was wrong.



Anyway as we were going to the Orchard Mesa church to use the baptismal I got a phone call




It was my daughter Charity, she was crying saying she thought it was time.
.
We have expected our girls to get baptised together, however we weren't sure Charity was feeling anything. She hadn't talked to us like Bobby did.



Charity also had to be double dipped cause her daddy got very nervous and forgot her name, then her foot also came out of the water.


And these are our three girls together when it was all done.

Let's All Go Down to the River

I am abundantly blessed. Today my cup is pouring over, I am so very encouraged. As I set here I can hear my 4 youngest children singing church songs and how beautiful it is. They know there is an energy in the air that has been created by the Good Lord. My oldest Daughter Bobby gave her hand to her Uncle Sean last night. I have to say I am so very happy for her.
I am not sure which was happier Bobby or Sean. I really don't think he was expecting it. He knew he had a work to do but I'm not sure he knew it included getting in the freezing river with Bobby today. Since Bobby was about 12 she has told us she wanted to be baptized in the river. So when she told Sean that last night I wasn't surprised however, when we woke up to snow, I thought she might change her mind but she is standing firm on doing it in the river. It kinda brings me comfort that it is in the same river my parents were baptized in. Not that I need comfort right now cause I am doing really awesome. I hope to post pictures soon. But as it won't happen for a couple more hours I don't have them yet ha ha. ANyway just wanted to take a minute to start spreading the news...

Message from the other side..

So I don't believe in ghosts just so you know ha ha.
On Christmas day this year one of my closest friends Velvadene Bohall Called and asked me to stop by for a minute. I went through my day wondering what in the world could be wrong. Finally our christmas with the family was over and Billy and I drove to Vel"s. SHe handed me this card. Anyway, she explained that she found this card while cleaning the house and she just thought about me the whole time she read it. It was to her and signed by her mom, but she couldn't really remember a time her mom had given it to her. Anyway as she continued to clean she found another one that wasn't signed and felt like she should give it to me. I really felt comforted as I read it. That last year with Sister Betha I would run up there all the time sometimes to whine and a lot of times to just listen to her talk. Anyway I got a lot of comfort from her in that year, I hope I reciprocated at least a little. Anyway this is what the card said,
LIFE'S PATHWAY
At times, life's path
seems filled with things
that make the going rough,
And we wishthere were
a smoother road,
for we feel we've had enough
But, if we pause a moment
and remember Who's in charge,
The hills that loom ahead of us,
no longer seem so large,
And every rock before us,
when we know we're not alone,
Becomes, not just a stumbling block,
but one more stepping stone.

EMILY MATTHEWS

Then you open the inside up and it says,

You've overcome so many things,
and, everytime you've grown
Through Sheer determination
and the wisdom that you've shown.
So, as you face this journey.
from the moment you begin,
Know that God will guide you,
and you'll have the strength to win.

Anyway it really seemed like something Sister Betha would write or even say. It was a great comfort and I just saw the card sitting by my bed on the table and decided to blog about how touching it is every time I read it. I plan to have a great day cause Sean and Marisela are baaack ha ha. I'm hoping to spend some time with them today. I have really missed their girls and little boy to, he says some of the funniest things. Being a grandma, sometimes I forget how fun it is to be an aunt ha ha that sounds silly but it is how I feel ha ha.

A Song and a Prayer

I hope all of you who read this know how well my husband and I are really doing. God has been so very good to us. He has comforted our hearts and put a song in mine again. When we lost John I really quit singing as much. I would sing with others and at church but I had quit singing while doing the dishes and vacuuming the floor. I used to sing to John all the time and when he was no longer there it was hard to have enough joy to sing.
I had a dream, before I knew we were gonna have another baby. In my dream I kept seeing this little boy and I would play with him throughout the dream and then I would lay him down for a nap in his crib. There was no sound with this dream, I dreamed it almost every night for a week and a half. Then after about 10 days, I took a test a found out we were gonna have a baby. At first I was kinda sad, I really didn't want another baby. Not to put it harshly but I have my hands full with my six. I also have a step son and a daughter in law as well as a grand-daughter (who wasn't born yet but I knew she was coming) that require a lot of my attention. I didn't tell anyone but my husband. We both thought about it and decided god knows what he's doing and we will be able to stretch in just the right places and it will be great to have a new baby. So we started to tell just the family. It had been about two weeks from when we found out. It was a Monday night, I dreamed the dream again. This time there was noise I could hear the baby giggle and coo. Then when I laid him down to sleep I said have a good nap Mikey. I woke up the next morning and Billy was already gone to work. I went about my day and essentially forgot about the dream. We went to church and when we got home that night I was getting ready for bed and my husband came into our room and said I have been shown what name we are gonna name the baby. He said we will name him Michael Ray. I was floored cause I hadn't told him about the dream. Mikey is a nickname of Michael. Anyway we went with it from that moment both of us felt we had been shown the baby would be a boy. I was sure everything would be great...
Fast forward 7 months later. The baby is born and isn't granted the breathe of life. It floored me, I didn't understand. I hid the extreme pain I was in from almost everyone. I'm sure everyone knew but I felt like my kids needed to see that life does go on and that death is a part of life that we HAVE to deal with. So then after about a month I really broke down I didn't think I could deal with what we went through and why us AGAIN. It just wasn't fair. Then I realized what a whiny baby I am being. God showed me just the other day that I misunderstood the dream. That I had put my own thoughts and think so's there. My heart and my faith were in the right place, it just wasn't god's will. He needed our little Michael more than we did. He needed Billy Ray more than we did. He needed John more than I did, and in the end who am I. Everything and everyone in my life are borrowed from the Lord. I need to cherish the times I had. I had John for almost two precious years. I had Billy Ray for 2 and a half precious days. And I got to carry Michael for 8 precious months in which I was healthier than I have probably been at any other time in my life. They were three very precious gifts that I wouldn't trade for the entire world. I am thankful for the six children I have and that God granted them the breathe of life and gave me the health to care for them daily. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but today I am thankful I got those boys for the short time I did, I can't be sad at this point today, because they have what I want. I'm not jealous because that would be saying I would be willing to take it from them for myself and I wouldn't. They have a home up in heaven and I strive to get there daily. I wanna be there with them but I can't yet and I hope I can keep this outlook on my life. So I hope nobody thinks me crass or weird?? for not allowing myself to grieve but I loved those boys and if they had lived they would not have wanted me sad all the time so I have to think of the kids I have now, and stay upbeat.
Anyway this is me just rambling about the things that are on my mind..I do that a lot ha ha

One Day I will

I am so undecided about how I feel I wanna say...I am happy. But that kinda seems wrong of me because our baby just died. However that's how I feel. I feel like God has been so good to us, what right do I have to be sad all the time. I don't want to be sad or unhappy, though I have my days today I am happy. God has had great mercy on me and my children.
The week before last I started getting dizzy every time I stood up. I can deal with that so I just kept going after a day of that if I wasn't careful I would faint, then a day after that I started having extreme stomach pains. I was starting to get scared and my husband was pretty worried, my eyes were getting dark. So we prayed and I felt I was shown to stop drinking the Pepsi throwback that I had started drinking. It all stopped. Aparently I can't have something in it which is weird cause it's only regular sugar. I am however gonna stick with what I've been shown and stay away from it.
Elizabeth has had a slight cough for a couple weeks, on Tuesday she was sitting on the couch and all the sudden started complaining of chest pains. It scared me really bad. I went in my room and was just finished praying, I had sat on my bed and Faith my baby came in and said, "mommy we need to call the elders". I knew why she wanted to but I wanted to hear her reasoning so I asked her why. She basically told me that if she had hurt her wrist she would want me to call the elders and since Elizabeths chest hurt that she really needed them so god could have mercy. I called my husband and told him and he immediately called them to pray at home or work because it was the middle of the day. So anyway Elizabeth felt so much better today, I am so very thankful.
Bobby has an admirer. She is not allowed to date until she is 16 however we have allowed her to talk to the boy by text and phone. I have been so enthused by her grownup attitude. She really likes this boy but she understands our position and has chosen to follow the rules, and not beg or fight us. I am so thankful for her right now she's been such a comfort this last month I don't know what I would do without her.
Megan is the cutest baby ever... have probably said that more times than I can count. She has started touching my face with her little fist when I talk to her it is so adorable. I had a hard time holding her for a little bit just a couple weeks but now that I'm over that(thank the lord)she doesn't want me to put her to sleep. It's kinda funny cause we have to be playing or I have to be talking and she won't lay back in my arms. She's such a smart baby. We do adore her.

Anyway just giving a small update..

On the Jericho Road

I had a very interesting Saturday. God showed me in a very unusual way what great mercy he has had on me. My husband and I have a little side job that we do every other week. This last week was our "delivery week". Well we got up Saturday and had breakfast, then we headed out to get our "job" done. Before we realized it we were done and it was 6 p.m. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, so I came home and ate a little bit. My baby Faith was playing in her room, and I walked through her room to the bathroom. I remember feeling a little dizzy, but thought it would pass. The next thing I remember was lying on the floor with Faith yelling "she's Dead" "she's dead" and she was jumping on me. I couldn't open my eye's though. It was like a dream that I couldn't wake up from. After a few minutes I could hear Billy talking to me but couldn't understand what he was saying really. Except he kept saying my name. Anyway finally I got my eyelids to cooperate and got up off the floor. I didn't feel bad at all, I was just dizzy. Anyway, I waited a little bit to make sure I was okay then I called Faith into my room and asked what happened. She said, "why was you pretending to be dead you scared me." This made me feel horrible she's just a baby she shouldn't have these fears. So I talked to her and explained that sometimes that happens and mommy kinda falls asleep while she's walking. She looked at me with those beautiful eyes and said "you never did that before." What a blessing that she has never experienced me fainting before. She is 5 and didn't know this could happen. It was common for Bobby and Charity to find me in the middle of the floor and me to wake up to them eating microwaved Ramen noodles. Or playing candy land. I hadn't realized it had been so long. At least two years, since the last episode. Once again a huge blessing. Faith and I had a long talk about how you shouldn't JUMP yes jump on dead people, and how you should go get daddy if ever you were to think someone was dead. Then I had to talk to her long and hard about not telling the preschool teacher that mommy died. My life is never boring ha ha.
We made it through the first semester of school with passing grades...barely. We were working to the deadline and got all the extra work in, but just barely. Bobby had a few d's and so did Charity. Our goal for the next semester is no D's. C's or better are the only acceptible grades. So that means more work all around. I have to write down their work and check it once a week. Just to make sure it gets done. We are in a program where I am NOT the teacher but I am an assistant to make sure the work is getting completed. The end of November and throuh December I did a horrible job. I didn't keep up at all so this time I am on top of things. So far so good that's only two weeks in though so I hope we can stick to our goals.
Rachelle seems so much better this week. God is really having mercy on her. She returned to school today, I was nervous but hopefully all is well. She has just been so tired, so please just continue to pray for her..

Encouraged

I am so encouraged right now. I have had a lot of issues that nobody really knew about things that were so hard to deal with. Some things between my husband and I, things that happened when my baby was born that were very hard to get over with. I felt I wasn't entitled to my feelings that I was wrong and hurting for the wrong reasons. Human feelings that were destroying me. I talked to my husband and we talked to an elder who basically said we were second guessing ourselves. That seems silly and obvious but to hear it outright just put my ducks back in their rows and helped me through. I have reset my feelings and I am doing so much better. I have resolved to visit more, help more and be the best sister I can be.
Tonight my family is going to Brother Joshua and Sister Kayleens house and we are taking dinner. We hope to help encourage them. Lord willing we will be in heaven for eternity with them and we want them to know how loved they are. We plan to start with one family a week and visit them all. This is just a start I hope. I want to be encouraged and nnot sad or down. Everyone needs to help me and tell me not to look at the bad side..Look at the bright side of everything.
I joined Secret sisters this year again and I am so enthused. This one sister chosen by fate or whatever you wanna call it...I drew her name from a hat kinda...will recieve my thoughts almost everyday this year. I bought several cards to give herwith gifts and if I feel to I will mail her a card. I think this is an extension to my living the faith. Showing this special sister that she is loved all year this year if I can. And I can ha ha..
I keep hearing these stories about my dad and I love hearing them. It really encourages me to hear how much he loved the brethren. How much he loved the lord and especially how much he loved his family. I miss him soo much and he has been gone for 16 years. It's not like that hole gets smaller..It will always be. I found a new picture of John my son who has been gone for about 10 years well almost. Anyway it's a picture at my brothers wedding and I get so much joy from seeing him on my sister in laws wall. It means so much to me to know he touched others peoples lives and that he is still remembered. He was so precious to me, and his pictures are just as precious..well almost.
My sister Dawnette married a man in the world. He is a very nice man, and is part of our family. A couple weeks ago their oldest daughter got sick and he took her to the hospital. She was diagnosed with Lupus.. This is such a hard trial for my sister, her husband, and her daughter to go through. Rachelle is just 14 and has this disease that will probably be with her the rest of her life. I say probably because according to the doctors it is un-healable. But I know God can have mercy and heal her. My sister got a profocy that told her god brought this trial for a reason and he would be with her through it. This was a great comfort for her but also she felt like it was saying Rachelle won't be healed anytime soon. Anyway I just wanted to ask for your prayers fro my sister.

Megan Ann Simpson

I never would have thunk it... I am a grandmother and youngish ha ha. Megan is so beautiful. She is almost 4 months old, our first grandbaby, and a new light to our whole family. She is the very most wonderful baby ever or at least since the last wonderful baby that wasn't mine ha ha...Tonight as I held her she just wasn't happy. Sometimes that happens she has bad days too. Anyway I got her calmed down by letting her watch the television. Then Grandpa (aka Billy) decided he wanted her. It took her about a minute and a half to realize it wasn't Grandma holding her anymore. She flipped out, crying and fussing, I took her back sat her back in my lap and she was fine once again. Then I decided to talk to her so I turned her around and started to tell her how she had hurt Grandpa's feelings and she started to coo at me. Only when she coo's it's like she really is trying to talk it's so adorable. She also tries to sing when she hears music..also adorable. I can't wait till her first birthday already have her presents picked out and will probably add to what I want her to have already ha ha.

I am doing so much better this week and God is so good to us. Sean and Marisela made it for Christmas. It was a very awesome affair. I don't have pictures yet but I will be getting them soon so I can post a few. It has been about ten years since the last time my whole family was together so it was way awesome. It was nice to have Naomi here too. She helped me through a couple really hard days. She probably didn't even know I was having a hard time but I am thankful to her none the less.

Naomi did officially name my family a family of nerds.. We all like to play video games of one sort or another, and though we didn't have much money we did all get a game. It was a very nice christmas all around though, and being able to share it with the kids for Megans first Christmas was very nice. Anyway just wanted to drop a line real quick and got a few lines ha ha

I Need You Now

I feel like I'm telling God that I need him now all the time. I really was needing to be in church this morning. I didn't get to go Tuesday night and I just feel like I need to be close to the brethren and I need to feel the spirit and I wanted to set in meeting. I got out of bed and came in the living room, and my son Daniel is setting on the futon obviously sick. Well, I could probably make it still, just not with him, then the older one BJ comes out he and Shayla are sick and so is the baby. Well Now I can't go and leave them to take care of Megan when she is sick too. So I ask you to pray for me today. I really need to feel closer to the Lord today. I have these boughts of anger that I have to fight, and yesterday was a really bad day. My husband thought I was mad at him all day, but I wasn't, I was just angry that things aren't different. It makes me feel bad, but I can't help my felings, I just have to fight them harder.
Faith came in a couple days ago and said,"Mommy, I know you miss your baby, so you can have my care bear." I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. She won't give me her Baby Alive, but she will share her care bear ha ha. She is so precious.
Bobby is 14 now and has an admirer. She is NOT allowed to date at all until she is 16. However I thought it would be okay if she texted him and was just friends. This was a big discussion becasue daddy thought this young man was now the enemy in a war, for looking at his daughter. He didn't want her talking to him or going anywhere that this young man may be. It took a lot of discussing between daddy and I to convince him to let her text. That all being said, daddy found the phone this morning before Bobby got it and read a text that said, "what's up cutie." The flares hit the fan. He is not a happy daddy this morning. So now mom has some conjoling to do again. She still won't date till she's 16, but now she probably won't text till next year ha ha.
My kids are all trying to figure out what they are gonna do for the talent show. It is the cutest thing cause they all want to sing. So they are all probably gonna sing a single song. Then they wanna do a skit as well as different ideas with their cousins. So I think it's gonna be fun. I plan to sing at least one song Acapella. I can't sing with music at all. I don't know when to start or when to stop or breathe. Well, I can't do any of it with music ha ha. So my husband has picked a song he likes to hear me sing and then I have one and I kinda wanted to sing one for MEgan but we will see I may just do one. I love to sing I'm just not the greatest singer and my husband is blinded, or deafened by his love for me ha ha.
Cause he thinnks I am the best singer ever ha ha but he did tell me I couldn't win American Idol. He wasn't sure I would make it past the try outs ha ha. I love him anyway.
Well once again thanks for listening or reading my ramblings ha ha

only 6 more days

Only 6 more days to Christmas and my kids are so excited. I have barely made it to go shopping for four of them. I haven't went for my grandbaby Megan or BJ and Shayla. Not to mention we are having a large family get together on Christmas Day and I have done NO shopping for that. I am really not in the mood for Christmas this year. It was supposed to be a very different holiday. I was supposed to have a baby boy, and since I don't I feel like something is seriously missing. This is probably going to sound so silly, but I feel like my arms are empty all the time. They hurt cause it feels like I should be holding something and am forcing them to be straight. I know I said it would be weird.
I had a good cry the other day and it was very healing. My husband and I were talking and he just said he didn't understand, and I just spilled all my feelings about how I should have done a few things different. I also told him we can look back and say this should have been this way and that should have been that way. But we will never know what really would have happened if we had changed everything. Gods will is supreme and it will be done no matter what our thoughts are. It just seems wrong because and don't take this the wrong way but we have kids now that we wanted less at the time than Michael. We were so excited for him to get here. More than any of our other children to be honest. I can't really explain but it felt like, he was gonna be our last so we were gonna do it up right and go all out. I hope that doesn't come off wrong but that's how I felt anyway.
Now I keep hearing people say, "oh your young you can have another baby". I want everyone to know first of all this is very inconsiderate and not a comfort at all. First of all NO baby can ever replace Michael. And also I HAVE SIX KIDS!!! Michael was a surprise. He would have been adored and well cared for, but I don't wanna be pregnant EVER again. Mostly because I don't do well pregnant. I get sick easily and smell things nobody else does, and did I mention the vomitting. Well, with all except Michael anyway. I was very healthy and it was the best pregnancy I had ever had. But that isn't status quo. I normally llose between 15 and 60 pounds so just to wrap up it's not a comfort to hear I can have more kids. Even though I know I really can, I really don't wanna. However, I would love to have another baby. I know I'm a woman and I don't make since. I wanna adopt maybe ha ha. Not really, cause Billy would NEVER agree. He thinks I work too hard as is..oh well.
Well thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.

In God's Hands

Today I titled my post "In God's Hands" because that's where I have to leave things. Sometimes things happen that seem at the time to much to bear and then you realize later how much God really knows what he's doing. We have been so excited for months about our new baby. We have had his name picked from the first week we knew we were gonna get a new baby. I knew in my heart it was a little boy. I had never gotten so excited before and that's saying a lot. We had bought everything and I do mean everything for the baby. On December the 1st I went into labour, and our baby was born on December the 2nd. He never breathed a breathe, never cried, and we didn't get to see his eyes. We named him Michael Ray Reed. My husband picked the name. He found it in the bible, and liked it because Michael was an angel. Now that kinda makes me sad to remember why he picked that name. Because we weren't expecting it I think it's been harder to grasp. It really feels like I've been in a dream and not quite woken up yet.
However, I know God knows what he's doing. He knows what's best and I am going to trust him to get me through the rough times ahead. I have actually been so blessed, I feel so good, almost like I never had a baby. We were told right away that the risk of infection was very high, but I wasn't worried. For those of you who know me, you know what a great thing that is. I have felt comfort since a couple hours after the authorities left. I was very scared when they were here, but god worked it all out. My husband and I really feel blessed to have those in our life who are here. It has been nice to have the brethren.
Now to tell the truth my goal for this week is to not be sad. I miss my baby, but God has greater plans for him. I don't like being sad and I don't think it's good for my kids. So I have told them no sadness allowed. We are happy that Michael gets to be with John and Billy as well as Grandpa Bobby. One day we will get to be with them as well. It's hard to say goodbye but now that we have we are going to celebrate.
That being said today is my birthday. I am... well... older ha ha. My husband had to work, but my kids woke up first thing to hug me and tell me Happy Birthday. Faith had wrapped a tube of chap stick a couple days ago and put it under the tree. She plans to present it in a little while. It's the heart that counts though and she has a very big heart. For my birthday I really wanted one day with no arguing or fighting between the kids. Almost as soon as I opened my eyes they had started..But I knew it was wishful thinking ha ha.
I really just wanted to blog because it's very healing for me and I wanted to share a poem for Michael...

Lord today I sent my baby to you
Please give him wings and let him fly
He's new at this so take it slow
Teach him how they flutter by
I'll miss him so though we'd never met
And I'll never know his smile
But you needhim and now he's yours
He was only mine a while
He'll never know pain
And he'll never know fear
For I know you will keep him near
And Now...
I close my eye's to say goodbye
And watch him fly away to you
Please keep him lord and love him till
I get my wings and join you too

You may think this is a sad poem, but I see such promise in the Lord and all he's promised that this poem makes me smile. God really does know what he's doing. He's gotten me through to this point in time. I also know that I now have three babies waiting for me when I gain my crown.
I really need your prayers, becasue I have had a difficult time with a few things. Faith hasn't been able to turn on her baby alive because when it cries it is a torment for me. I also have had a hard time holding my granbaby. I don't want these things to bother me and really need your prayers that I can overcome these things. I also have a really hard time at night and early morning being tormented. So please just remember me.

A New Attitude

So after a couple more days I realize what a baby I am. The baby is still healthy, I know cause he/she is kicking and moving around alot. My older girls are trying their best with the house and I am doing okay. My husband kinda blew it on the groceries, but what do you expect for the very first time ha ha. I have a very good family, my sister all the way in Oregon is finishing up my quilts. I had bought fabric but had never gotten them started so she is working on that. I have a couple blankets here that weren't finished that my oldest is gonna finish. Plus we got all the stuff for the baby, including the bassinet. Not the one I picked out but a very cute one nonetheless. In conclusion, I am blessed, not only with good health considering everything but with a wonderful husband who knows how picky I am and was still willing to go grocery shopping, knowing he was doomed for failure ha ha. Also with wonderful children and sisters.
What a complainer I can be right?? Anyway I have resolved to only see the good in everything. The groceries kinda drive me nuts cause he shopped solely at Sams...I knew to begin with it was a mistake. However he got Hamburger which will make a lot of meals, and if we were to have a superbowl party we can use two 5 lb bags of hot wings hee hee. The kids will love him for getting them pretzels for snack, and though I wouldn't have chosen that for a healthy snack he probably could have done worse. Also he only got one bag of Candy, and he did get the spaghetti noodles as well as the elbow macaroni noodles. And even though he forgot the spaghetti sauce he can run to walmart and get some. He really could have done worse..And he was entitled to the cookie dough (store bought can you believe that??)
since I can't get up and make it. Oh well it will be okay...However since I can't do the corn he has shucked adn boiled and cut it off the cob for two solid evenings which is more than a lot of guys would do. He is also gonna help Bobby with the salsa tonight so I really have nothing to complain about. I do wish someone would come paint my walls though ha ha...Not really just wanting some change..
My girls have been so good and even though they do things different than I would I really appreciate their help. I worry about what my kitchen looks like but I am gonna have faith and believe that they are doing it the way I would. Ezekiel came in my room yesterday evening and said a bowl had fallen on his foot. I was like how in the world did that happen? He said I just opened the cabinet and it fell out so I directed Bobby on how to put the dishes away again and her eye rolling with I know mom was very disconcerting...made me worry but when Billy came home and checked he said it looked fine. I hope he's right ha ha. My room seems to be catching a lot of clutter, they won't let me organize it so I have tried to ignore it.. IT'S NOT WORKING...So Bobby and Charity are gonna let me boss them for a few minutes after lunch.. I am kinda excited ha ha.
I just worry too much but everything is still working out for the best I am sure. And on the bright side I am starting to learn a couple songs I have wanted to learn just didn't have the time. I am also reading things I have needed to read for a while, maybe this will help me in the future find more time for reading my bible. I hope so cause I really need it. This is how I found the name for my little girl if Marisela is right ha ha(she always thinks it"s a girl). Keturah Hope, Keturah becasue I read it in the old testament and fell in love with the name and Hope because I already have Faith and Charity, we needed some Hope to add ha ha. Billy always picks the boys names and decided on Michael Ray Michael after an angel from somewhere I really don't know and Ray cause that's all the boys' middle names hee hee. Well I have cured my boredom for another 10 minutes back to watching the clock and being bored some more ha ha...

I'm finally back

It seems like it has been forever. But I realize it's only been a couple weeks. My computer was fried so I had to wait until my husband found what he considered a "good" deal on a computer. Finally he did, thank goodness.
Well, surprsingly not a lot happened while I was away.. Oh wait, I lost a $500 money order for our rent. That put us back for a while. My baby started preschool, which was easier than I thought it would be ha ha. And I was put on complete bed rest for at least 2 weeks and possibly the duration of this pregnancy. That's a really long stinkin time. My due date as was recently refigured is January 3rd, that's almost 4 1/2 months to be down and after three days I am going insane. I am sick of my room, don't wanna be here anymore. I have found I do feel better when I'm down so I know that's what's best but good golly I wanna get up and fix some stuff. Bobby canned my green beans which was kinda scarey but they needed to get done and she did a really good job. She also did half of my pickles and they look very beautiful. She has been such a big help.
We all have colds too, except for the three youngest kids. Daniel had to stay home from school today.. The rest of us all sound like lungs will be coughed up any minute, and it all just happened overnight. We just woke up two mornings ago with sore throats and it has progressed since then. It's horrible, however on the bright side the baby has been mving alot for the last two days, and that is so exciting cause things could be so much worse. And I realized he doesn't like chocolate. I say he cause I had a dream that it was a boy so we are assuming until it's a girl that it's a boy ha ha. Anyway I stole an m & m from Faith and it just about made me sick well that was a couple weeks ago, and I didn't think about it last night and stole one from Zeke and wham I am sick again. So no chocolate ha ha. Deffinately a boy right??
I have cut out all caffeine, salt and most of my sugar. I am ready to have this baby. I have never tried to be this healthy before and I realize I don't like it ha ha. I try not to eat any processed foods, or frozen from the grocery store, I watch the preservatives and try to eat as much natural stuff as I can. But I want a healthy baby this time, so I guess it's worth the sacrifice right? Anyway, I just wanted to take a few minutes and write a little about what's happened lately......

Not gonna be here for a while

I am not gonna have a computer for a while mine is acting up and I have to get it fixed. As soon as I get it up and going I will post again. Shayla's shower turned out great today. Had about 50 sisters there, and she was very happy. The quilts got completely finished and were very beautiful if I do say so myself... ha ha Anyway just wanted to let you know I won't be on for a while...at least a couple weeks.

Ezekiel Ray

Almost done ha ha. Ezekiel is my youngest son...and spoiled so very much. If he had a choice he would deffinately only eat Ramen noodles. I won't allow it though they don't seem very healthy so I only let the kids have them one time a week. I won't even eat those nasty things ha ha.
Ezekiel was my first son after losing my boys... He was a healing experience for me. I was so scared to have another son but when he was born he was so healthy. When he was little he would constantly tell me god had spoken to him and he had to impart the advice to me. He got in trouble quite a lot for it. I would be getting ready to punish him and he would say god just told me little boys shouldn't stand in the corner. Actually the first couple times it surprised me, and I kinda thought it was cute and then I would forget that he was getting punished so it made him worse for a little while. Anyway, I realized what I had done and started punishing him for saying things like that. Now he listens at church and will bring it home sometimes not always...Well like on Sunday we heard how the brethren had always depended on god and it used to be unheard of to send our children to college because we depended on god and he had always provided. That god hadn't changed but where we put our faith and trust had changed. Anyway we come home and we were getting ready for dinner and Ezekiel announced he wasn't gonna go to school this year. I immediately piped up and told him differently. Then he was upset and said we should depend on god we shouldn't go to school. It astounded me that he had understood to begin with then I was speachless because it had kinda been said. I thought about it for a minute and said brother allen and brother HEnry were talking about when you get old enough to get married. He paused for a minute and then said awww man... It was very cute.
Last year Ezekiel started Kindergarten, and on the first day I just stayed in the building waiting for him to need me. He didn't speak real well had a speach impedment and couldn't express himself well. So I kept peaking in the door and seeing if he was okay. He was and did great, he actually got into some speach classes and now everyone can pretty much understand him. He is in the same teachers class this year. Ms. McEvoy and I am exxcited. Last year because they concentrated on his speeach so much he didn't learn everything he should so he will repeat Kindergarten. But I am excited that he is so ready to learn this year. He has worked with books alot and learned new letters and their sounds we have played with sand and done hooked on phonics. He is ready to go this year. I hope he realizes how much he has grown over the summer.
Anyway, Ezekiel is a very special child as all children are. He has his own little personality and he is a very quiet self sufficient child. He can play all day by himself and not have a problem. It's when the other kids try to play with him that he has a problem. He loves super hero's and can't wait to turn 7. He hates when his hair grows long enough to touch his ears and will bug us daily for a hair cut ha ha. When he grows up I imagine him being a very good brother and helping out the less fortunate in the world. He, imagines himself as a firefighter or Superman he isn't sure right now ha ha.

THE BAG!!!

As promised I am posting pictures of the bag...Bobby was picking up Capri Sun packages and stacking them up when she got this idea to make a purse. I really thought she was kidding at first but then she started sewing them together. At first it was kinda weird looking but it grew on me and by the time she finished it I was thrilled for her. It was adorable, and she has gotten so many compliments just walking around town and stuff. I thought it really showed that she can do whatever she sets her mind to. Well, she finished sewing the outside together and we went together to pick out the lining. I was looking at baby quilt material which is what I always do, anyway she came to me with this black with the peace signs on it. It was such a good choice I think it turned out so very cute. Anyway here are some pictures.....





Well I hope that this has worked. I added the pictures like I normally do, but this time it just added weird little letters and numbers so I hope this works out.
Anyway if not I will try again. I will sonn have the baby quilts for my grand baby finished and then I will take pictures and post them. I am also working on a quilt for my great nephew due in November. Then I will start a quilt for my baby. I have had a hard time figuring out what I want for my baby. I know I want Monkeys, but I can't find any patterns. It's driving me nuts. However I talked to sister Trish Komatas on Sunday who said she would help me if I could just find a picture of the monkeys I like. So I am gonna take her up on that. I am geting way excited now. I love doing the appliqued quilts way more than I liked the pieced ones. Which really surprised me, I didn't expect to enjoy it. Anyway, as soon as I get done quilting I will take pictures, and post them.

Elizabeth Rose

Elizabeth was nicknamed little bit as a baby. It has kinda stuck for forever, ha ha. Sometimes we just shorten that and call her bit or bitty. Her pet peeve is to be called little spit, her brothers are slowly learning ha ha. Elizabeth was born about 6 weeks early, at first she did great but at 17 days she quit breathing. It was a trial but she obviously made it through that.
When Elizabeth was about 1 year and 17 days old she was walking across the floor and she tripped on a strip that separated the carpet in the dining room from the carpet in the living room. Anyway she fell directly on a cord that was loosely wrapped around the shampooer. I was in the shower because it was the first day I was allowed after having a baby. My husband had stepped outside to grab some fire wood. Bobby came to get me and I told her to get her dad. I climbed out of the shower and wrapped in a towel ran to the living room. To this day I am thankful my husband got there first. She wasn't breathing, her face had turned blue and he was doing CPR, between breathes he was begging god for mercy. After about 10 or 15 minutes she took a breathe. But it was still so scary. She was in shock and shaking really bad, we had to call 911. And when they got there they of course loaded her up in the ambulance. They let me ride with her and when we got a few miles from the house the guy in the back leaned over the seat and said,"ma'am your daughter is gonna be just fine." then he turned to the driver and said,"we need to go faster and turn the siren on." When we got to the hospital, they told me that they couldn't keep her breathing on the way there. When they let me in her room, she didn't recognize me. It was like I was a stranger. It was horrible. The doctor came in and told e she wouldn't make it through the night. That she was to sick to stay in Grand Junction, she showed me x-rays of Bitty's throat and it was crushed, thousands of pieces is what it looked like. So then they life flighted her to Denver. When we got there, the X-rays were gone, so they ordered new ones, when Elizabeth woke up from the flight, she looked right at me and I could tell she knew who I was. There was no fear when she looked at me. She was in the hospital for 1 week and was released directly from intensive care. She was completely healed, except that she couldn't walk anymore. She refused to use her arms for anything, and she wouldn't hardly talk to us. When we were on the way home from Denver in the car I noticed she kept reaching over and rubbing Ezekiel's head. He was barely over two weeks old, but she remembered him and wanted to touch him all the time. When we got home we had a lot to take care of. Everyday I worked with her, tried to get her to walk I would work with her legs and nothing. I couldn't get her to crawl or to eat on her own. I had to feed her and hold her bottle. Even though she had been broken from it the hospital had put her back on a bottle cause they didn't have sippy cups. When I would feed Ezekiel she wanted to sit right beside me she would grunt at me until I lifted her up onto the couch and sat her right beside me. I was getting worried it had been two weeks at home and still she wouldn't use her arms or hands,except to rub Zekey's head. And she wouldn't use her legs for anything. I really started praying that god would show me how to help her. The next time I fed Ezekiel I felt to move over just a couple of inches, Bitty leaned over and kept her hand on his head. So I moved some more and she leaned farther. So I stopped for that day. The next day I started a few inches away from her and scooted twice so she had to move to touch him, and the little booger did. She scooted right over so she could rub his head. I kept working at it everyday and eventually I sat on the floor and she would scoot across the floor, the she started crawling to him. Finally she started walking. It was funny because she only would move to get to her brother. When he started crawling she was finally walking and could keep up with him. When it was over it had taken her 6 months to learn, to crawl, and eat, walk, do everything herself again. But we stuck with it and she did wonderful.
Because they claimed Elizabeth had brain damage, we were told she would never be quite right. That she would be considered mentally challenged. She wouldn't be able to walk, and she would be a virtual vegetable her whole life. Well, last year when Elizabeth started First grade, she did not know her whole alphabet. She deffinately didn't know the sounds of the letters, and we hadn't even started learning math. AT the end of the school year, she was at grade level in reading. And she was in advanced math starting multiplication. She is the smartest girl, probably not in the world but she's pretty smart. She is also the most truthful kid. If you don't want to know the truth don't ask her cause she is mean truthful ha ha. One day before church I had put on a dress and did my hair and asked her if I looked okay. She said seriously mom, you are not gonna wear that dress. It makes you look like your sick. At first I was a little offended, but then my husband came in and said you know that color just makes you look so pail. Don't you have a brighter dress to wear. She didn't mean to be mean to me she was just telling me what she saw ha ha.
Elizabeth has always been a comfort to me in times of sadness. She just has this comforting touch. Even when I'm not sad she hugs me, quite frequently actually. She hasn't been able to sleep without a hug and a kiss since she was about 2. I keep thinking she'll grow out of it but she doesn't. Her and Daniel go to the same school, and when she see's him in the hall she always to his great embarrassment runs up and hugs him. He is always asking me to tell her she can't hug him at school anymore. But I still think it's cute that she looks up to him so much ha ha. I did actually talk to her about not embarrassing him, but she doesn't understand, just yesterday when we went to pick him up from sumer school she ran right over to hug him, and he hollered mmooooommm didn't you have something to talk to Elizabeth about? I just laughed cause he got more attention yelling than her hugging him did.
Elizabeth can be annoying because she is very matter of fact. She points out the rules and tries to line everyone out. Because that's my job it does annoy me sometimes ha ha. Like I said all my children are special in their own ways and Elizabeth is no exception. Her love and caring attitude is one of the things that set her apart from others. I hope one day that she is a great servant to the brethren. Right now she wants the same thing, but I have found as they get older their thoughts on life change drastically.

Daniel Ray

I have put off this post for a while, because it is hard to describe this boy of mine. He craves attention, but has the softest heart. He has such inspiring ideas, but can embarrass me faster than anything by his comments. He loves to sing, but does it at the weirdest times. He can memorize every line in any movie but can't get his multiplication tables. He loves to learn but hates to read.
Wow that wasn't as hard as I thought. Daniel was the kid that we didn't expect. I had just had John and he was about 7 months old when I felt movement in my stomach. I really thought Satan was tormenting me. There was no way I was already gonna have another baby. So I asked mom and her being the mom she is agreed with me and we thought up a good explanation. It was a tumor, sad but what I had to deal with. I gained weight and got so sick, but it was obviously the symptoms of a tumor. Then when John was about 10 months old I started hurting really bad. I assumed I was going to pass a tumor and called a sister. She let me know I was probably having a baby not a tumor. Then six weeks later sure enough a baby was born.
Needless to say, he was a blessing in disguise. Just because I wouldn't accept what was to be. Well 10 years later, I couldn't imagine life without him. Although today I don't know what would have happened if I could have caught him. He broke out in song after church while we were all in the parking lot,"Hey now here we go, got to make them come back for more." then "long black train" at the top of his lungs" it was driving me nuts. When he was a baby he would sing I'm using my Bible for a road map. It was the cutest thing to hear cause he was pretty little. But now he likes to sing, Marching in the light or Gods wonderful people. Which I guess could be worse.
Last year in the fall I found Daniel sitting in the yard just sobbing so I went out and sat with him and asked what was wrong. He said he was so sad because the trees looked like they were dying and the birds would have no where to build nests. So I explained that the tree's slept in the winter and the birds flew to where it was warmer. He seemed to take it better, but he still gets the sniffles when the landlord trims the bushes or the trees cause he thinks he's killing them.
Two years ago for his 8th birthday he wanted a fishing pole. He talked about his fishing pole all the time. About three weeks before his birthday I asked why it was so important to get a fishing pole. He told me he really needed it cause brother Leroy had read a passage in the bible a couple weeks before about how we should be fishers of men. He thought that meant he should go fishing. I bought him a fishing pole but I don't think we ever took him fishing. He still talks about how Uncle Sean is gonna teach him how one day. Cause we told him we really didn't know how to fish but his Uncle did hee heee.
We were eating dinner at the church in a large group of brethren. The boys were joking about starting a food fight. Daniel pipes up very loud my mom would beat me to within an inch of my life. I was so embarrassed I had probably almost assuredly used those words with him but I wouldn't ever hurt the rotten kid. Anyway I didn't live that down for a very long time.
We are now into 9 months of working on multiplication tables. We need him to memorize them. He still hasn't gotten past the 2's. However he watched Transformers three yes I said three times and could quote the movie. Word for exact word. I was so annoyed, it doesn't even look like I work with him but I feel like we read and multiply ALL the time. He knows exactly what his favorite characters say and do all the way through the movie though. Not that that's gonna help him later in life, but then again maybe he will be a movie editor or something.
Daniel is turning 10 in 6 days oh how the years have flown by. He finally three or four weeks ago has started sleeping alone. He used to have to have a brother, mother, or sister sleep either on his bed or on the floor next to him his whole life. He couldn't sleep otherwise. But I was so happy when Ezekiel was so bad that he was able to sleep alone. What a big boy right???
Daniel is fascinated with space and all that happens there. His favorite web site is www.space.com he loves it. He loves to watch the stars and see all the things that happen up there. We actually watched the sapce station pass over a couple times last week and he was so excited.
I think that his quirky personality is part of the reason I love him so much. He can be annoying but he is so special at the same time. Since Ezekiel has been better he is Daniel's little bud. Daniel protects him and plays with him and teaches him so many things. He makes sure Zeke is being treated right and stands up for him all the time. He wasn't like that before, and I definately like the new Daniel. I think That Zeke being sick scared him really bad. But it was a good scare apparently.

Once again so thankful for the Faith

My husband's niece just had a death in her family. Her mother-in-law. I totally knew but it's easy to forget how much the brethren do for each other. She (my niece) called me yesterday to see what to do about the dinner after the funeral on Saturday. I asked doesn't the church put that together? Because they are having a church service at another church. They don't go to our church. Anyway, she said they told her they can go in on some chicken but for the most part they had to find someone to bring food. That's not a problem for me because I had already counted on taking my regular amount of food, and for funerals at the church I try to take three times what my family consumes at a single meal.
Anyway, I was so thankful for the brethren, I remember when our boys passed away there were so many people at the funerals, and who just came to see us at our house to offer comfort as well as their condolences, I really didn't realize the world doesn't have this. It's so important to me to be a light and to help those around me that it's just part of my life. But when I talk to someone in a situation where they don't have that it's crazy. I wonder where are there friends but I also realize I was raised to be a good sister and mom always told me to take extra to church dinners and funerals. So it's just who I am. But now I wonder if I should take even more. I really am in a delemma. Not quite sure how much is enough. I really want them to have plenty.
I read Stephanie's obituary and I was so sad I cried for a long time and I really didn't know her, but I am so devistated by her passing. She was only 41, and through an accident her life was taken. She had been out and when she came in she parked in the garage, we think she forgot to turn her truck off, and when she realized the garage had already filled with carbon monoxide and she couldn't get back in the house. It just made me so sad and made me ask was I the light I should have been, was I a good example. Could I have tried harder. Maybe I should have invited her to church. I always go through the what ifs but this time it was so much worse on me. She was only a year older than my husband.. Anyway I have tried to not think about it too much cause I just start crying and I don't think it's good for the baby for me to be emotional all the time. SO calm and relaxed is what I am trying all the time.

I am sooooo emotional this time. I cry all the time, I was watching the news and they were talking about how because our summer was late coming we weren't gonna have as good of a peach crop. I was just sobbing over the stupid peaches. My husband was not very sympathetic and kept asking why are you so upset again? I don't understand..It's kinda funny now, but I have had 8 children and have never had this problem before. I mean my emotions were different but not like this. I also have a second quilt top almost finished just have to quilt them both for the shower on the 29th. Then I want to do a quilt for my baby but I can't find an applique pattern for a monkey. If anyone has any ideas let me know. really want to get at least one quilt done...

Blissful

I have had such a good pregnancy this time, I just wanted to say thank you Lord in a public forum. I have been so sick with my children, except the first two. I couldn't keep food down, and everything made me have extreme heart burn. With the last three I started having slight contractions from the time I was three months and they just got worse and worse until they were born. This time there has only been slight morning sickness, which I am sooooooooooo thankful for. I haven't been hurting and can get out and walk every day almost. I have been getting dizzy, but I am always anemic (I have low iron) so that's probably why. But I just wanted to say I am so thankful that the lord has been so good to me. I am only 15 weeks, so I could deffinately have the sickness later on or whatever but I am thankful I've made it this far without.
I am so grateful today because last night I did feel bad, I had gotten stressed over situations out of my control. Things I can't do anything about, but when I calmed down and decided I wouldn't worry anymore I was fine. It made me realize how good I have felt this time.