So after a couple more days I realize what a baby I am. The baby is still healthy, I know cause he/she is kicking and moving around alot. My older girls are trying their best with the house and I am doing okay. My husband kinda blew it on the groceries, but what do you expect for the very first time ha ha. I have a very good family, my sister all the way in Oregon is finishing up my quilts. I had bought fabric but had never gotten them started so she is working on that. I have a couple blankets here that weren't finished that my oldest is gonna finish. Plus we got all the stuff for the baby, including the bassinet. Not the one I picked out but a very cute one nonetheless. In conclusion, I am blessed, not only with good health considering everything but with a wonderful husband who knows how picky I am and was still willing to go grocery shopping, knowing he was doomed for failure ha ha. Also with wonderful children and sisters.
What a complainer I can be right?? Anyway I have resolved to only see the good in everything. The groceries kinda drive me nuts cause he shopped solely at Sams...I knew to begin with it was a mistake. However he got Hamburger which will make a lot of meals, and if we were to have a superbowl party we can use two 5 lb bags of hot wings hee hee. The kids will love him for getting them pretzels for snack, and though I wouldn't have chosen that for a healthy snack he probably could have done worse. Also he only got one bag of Candy, and he did get the spaghetti noodles as well as the elbow macaroni noodles. And even though he forgot the spaghetti sauce he can run to walmart and get some. He really could have done worse..And he was entitled to the cookie dough (store bought can you believe that??)
since I can't get up and make it. Oh well it will be okay...However since I can't do the corn he has shucked adn boiled and cut it off the cob for two solid evenings which is more than a lot of guys would do. He is also gonna help Bobby with the salsa tonight so I really have nothing to complain about. I do wish someone would come paint my walls though ha ha...Not really just wanting some change..
My girls have been so good and even though they do things different than I would I really appreciate their help. I worry about what my kitchen looks like but I am gonna have faith and believe that they are doing it the way I would. Ezekiel came in my room yesterday evening and said a bowl had fallen on his foot. I was like how in the world did that happen? He said I just opened the cabinet and it fell out so I directed Bobby on how to put the dishes away again and her eye rolling with I know mom was very disconcerting...made me worry but when Billy came home and checked he said it looked fine. I hope he's right ha ha. My room seems to be catching a lot of clutter, they won't let me organize it so I have tried to ignore it.. IT'S NOT WORKING...So Bobby and Charity are gonna let me boss them for a few minutes after lunch.. I am kinda excited ha ha.
I just worry too much but everything is still working out for the best I am sure. And on the bright side I am starting to learn a couple songs I have wanted to learn just didn't have the time. I am also reading things I have needed to read for a while, maybe this will help me in the future find more time for reading my bible. I hope so cause I really need it. This is how I found the name for my little girl if Marisela is right ha ha(she always thinks it"s a girl). Keturah Hope, Keturah becasue I read it in the old testament and fell in love with the name and Hope because I already have Faith and Charity, we needed some Hope to add ha ha. Billy always picks the boys names and decided on Michael Ray Michael after an angel from somewhere I really don't know and Ray cause that's all the boys' middle names hee hee. Well I have cured my boredom for another 10 minutes back to watching the clock and being bored some more ha ha...
I'm finally back
It seems like it has been forever. But I realize it's only been a couple weeks. My computer was fried so I had to wait until my husband found what he considered a "good" deal on a computer. Finally he did, thank goodness.
Well, surprsingly not a lot happened while I was away.. Oh wait, I lost a $500 money order for our rent. That put us back for a while. My baby started preschool, which was easier than I thought it would be ha ha. And I was put on complete bed rest for at least 2 weeks and possibly the duration of this pregnancy. That's a really long stinkin time. My due date as was recently refigured is January 3rd, that's almost 4 1/2 months to be down and after three days I am going insane. I am sick of my room, don't wanna be here anymore. I have found I do feel better when I'm down so I know that's what's best but good golly I wanna get up and fix some stuff. Bobby canned my green beans which was kinda scarey but they needed to get done and she did a really good job. She also did half of my pickles and they look very beautiful. She has been such a big help.
We all have colds too, except for the three youngest kids. Daniel had to stay home from school today.. The rest of us all sound like lungs will be coughed up any minute, and it all just happened overnight. We just woke up two mornings ago with sore throats and it has progressed since then. It's horrible, however on the bright side the baby has been mving alot for the last two days, and that is so exciting cause things could be so much worse. And I realized he doesn't like chocolate. I say he cause I had a dream that it was a boy so we are assuming until it's a girl that it's a boy ha ha. Anyway I stole an m & m from Faith and it just about made me sick well that was a couple weeks ago, and I didn't think about it last night and stole one from Zeke and wham I am sick again. So no chocolate ha ha. Deffinately a boy right??
I have cut out all caffeine, salt and most of my sugar. I am ready to have this baby. I have never tried to be this healthy before and I realize I don't like it ha ha. I try not to eat any processed foods, or frozen from the grocery store, I watch the preservatives and try to eat as much natural stuff as I can. But I want a healthy baby this time, so I guess it's worth the sacrifice right? Anyway, I just wanted to take a few minutes and write a little about what's happened lately......
Well, surprsingly not a lot happened while I was away.. Oh wait, I lost a $500 money order for our rent. That put us back for a while. My baby started preschool, which was easier than I thought it would be ha ha. And I was put on complete bed rest for at least 2 weeks and possibly the duration of this pregnancy. That's a really long stinkin time. My due date as was recently refigured is January 3rd, that's almost 4 1/2 months to be down and after three days I am going insane. I am sick of my room, don't wanna be here anymore. I have found I do feel better when I'm down so I know that's what's best but good golly I wanna get up and fix some stuff. Bobby canned my green beans which was kinda scarey but they needed to get done and she did a really good job. She also did half of my pickles and they look very beautiful. She has been such a big help.
We all have colds too, except for the three youngest kids. Daniel had to stay home from school today.. The rest of us all sound like lungs will be coughed up any minute, and it all just happened overnight. We just woke up two mornings ago with sore throats and it has progressed since then. It's horrible, however on the bright side the baby has been mving alot for the last two days, and that is so exciting cause things could be so much worse. And I realized he doesn't like chocolate. I say he cause I had a dream that it was a boy so we are assuming until it's a girl that it's a boy ha ha. Anyway I stole an m & m from Faith and it just about made me sick well that was a couple weeks ago, and I didn't think about it last night and stole one from Zeke and wham I am sick again. So no chocolate ha ha. Deffinately a boy right??
I have cut out all caffeine, salt and most of my sugar. I am ready to have this baby. I have never tried to be this healthy before and I realize I don't like it ha ha. I try not to eat any processed foods, or frozen from the grocery store, I watch the preservatives and try to eat as much natural stuff as I can. But I want a healthy baby this time, so I guess it's worth the sacrifice right? Anyway, I just wanted to take a few minutes and write a little about what's happened lately......
Not gonna be here for a while
I am not gonna have a computer for a while mine is acting up and I have to get it fixed. As soon as I get it up and going I will post again. Shayla's shower turned out great today. Had about 50 sisters there, and she was very happy. The quilts got completely finished and were very beautiful if I do say so myself... ha ha Anyway just wanted to let you know I won't be on for a while...at least a couple weeks.
Ezekiel Ray
Almost done ha ha. Ezekiel is my youngest son...and spoiled so very much. If he had a choice he would deffinately only eat Ramen noodles. I won't allow it though they don't seem very healthy so I only let the kids have them one time a week. I won't even eat those nasty things ha ha.
Ezekiel was my first son after losing my boys... He was a healing experience for me. I was so scared to have another son but when he was born he was so healthy. When he was little he would constantly tell me god had spoken to him and he had to impart the advice to me. He got in trouble quite a lot for it. I would be getting ready to punish him and he would say god just told me little boys shouldn't stand in the corner. Actually the first couple times it surprised me, and I kinda thought it was cute and then I would forget that he was getting punished so it made him worse for a little while. Anyway, I realized what I had done and started punishing him for saying things like that. Now he listens at church and will bring it home sometimes not always...Well like on Sunday we heard how the brethren had always depended on god and it used to be unheard of to send our children to college because we depended on god and he had always provided. That god hadn't changed but where we put our faith and trust had changed. Anyway we come home and we were getting ready for dinner and Ezekiel announced he wasn't gonna go to school this year. I immediately piped up and told him differently. Then he was upset and said we should depend on god we shouldn't go to school. It astounded me that he had understood to begin with then I was speachless because it had kinda been said. I thought about it for a minute and said brother allen and brother HEnry were talking about when you get old enough to get married. He paused for a minute and then said awww man... It was very cute.
Last year Ezekiel started Kindergarten, and on the first day I just stayed in the building waiting for him to need me. He didn't speak real well had a speach impedment and couldn't express himself well. So I kept peaking in the door and seeing if he was okay. He was and did great, he actually got into some speach classes and now everyone can pretty much understand him. He is in the same teachers class this year. Ms. McEvoy and I am exxcited. Last year because they concentrated on his speeach so much he didn't learn everything he should so he will repeat Kindergarten. But I am excited that he is so ready to learn this year. He has worked with books alot and learned new letters and their sounds we have played with sand and done hooked on phonics. He is ready to go this year. I hope he realizes how much he has grown over the summer.
Anyway, Ezekiel is a very special child as all children are. He has his own little personality and he is a very quiet self sufficient child. He can play all day by himself and not have a problem. It's when the other kids try to play with him that he has a problem. He loves super hero's and can't wait to turn 7. He hates when his hair grows long enough to touch his ears and will bug us daily for a hair cut ha ha. When he grows up I imagine him being a very good brother and helping out the less fortunate in the world. He, imagines himself as a firefighter or Superman he isn't sure right now ha ha.
Ezekiel was my first son after losing my boys... He was a healing experience for me. I was so scared to have another son but when he was born he was so healthy. When he was little he would constantly tell me god had spoken to him and he had to impart the advice to me. He got in trouble quite a lot for it. I would be getting ready to punish him and he would say god just told me little boys shouldn't stand in the corner. Actually the first couple times it surprised me, and I kinda thought it was cute and then I would forget that he was getting punished so it made him worse for a little while. Anyway, I realized what I had done and started punishing him for saying things like that. Now he listens at church and will bring it home sometimes not always...Well like on Sunday we heard how the brethren had always depended on god and it used to be unheard of to send our children to college because we depended on god and he had always provided. That god hadn't changed but where we put our faith and trust had changed. Anyway we come home and we were getting ready for dinner and Ezekiel announced he wasn't gonna go to school this year. I immediately piped up and told him differently. Then he was upset and said we should depend on god we shouldn't go to school. It astounded me that he had understood to begin with then I was speachless because it had kinda been said. I thought about it for a minute and said brother allen and brother HEnry were talking about when you get old enough to get married. He paused for a minute and then said awww man... It was very cute.
Last year Ezekiel started Kindergarten, and on the first day I just stayed in the building waiting for him to need me. He didn't speak real well had a speach impedment and couldn't express himself well. So I kept peaking in the door and seeing if he was okay. He was and did great, he actually got into some speach classes and now everyone can pretty much understand him. He is in the same teachers class this year. Ms. McEvoy and I am exxcited. Last year because they concentrated on his speeach so much he didn't learn everything he should so he will repeat Kindergarten. But I am excited that he is so ready to learn this year. He has worked with books alot and learned new letters and their sounds we have played with sand and done hooked on phonics. He is ready to go this year. I hope he realizes how much he has grown over the summer.
Anyway, Ezekiel is a very special child as all children are. He has his own little personality and he is a very quiet self sufficient child. He can play all day by himself and not have a problem. It's when the other kids try to play with him that he has a problem. He loves super hero's and can't wait to turn 7. He hates when his hair grows long enough to touch his ears and will bug us daily for a hair cut ha ha. When he grows up I imagine him being a very good brother and helping out the less fortunate in the world. He, imagines himself as a firefighter or Superman he isn't sure right now ha ha.
THE BAG!!!
As promised I am posting pictures of the bag...Bobby was picking up Capri Sun packages and stacking them up when she got this idea to make a purse. I really thought she was kidding at first but then she started sewing them together. At first it was kinda weird looking but it grew on me and by the time she finished it I was thrilled for her. It was adorable, and she has gotten so many compliments just walking around town and stuff. I thought it really showed that she can do whatever she sets her mind to. Well, she finished sewing the outside together and we went together to pick out the lining. I was looking at baby quilt material which is what I always do, anyway she came to me with this black with the peace signs on it. It was such a good choice I think it turned out so very cute. Anyway here are some pictures.....
Well I hope that this has worked. I added the pictures like I normally do, but this time it just added weird little letters and numbers so I hope this works out.
Anyway if not I will try again. I will sonn have the baby quilts for my grand baby finished and then I will take pictures and post them. I am also working on a quilt for my great nephew due in November. Then I will start a quilt for my baby. I have had a hard time figuring out what I want for my baby. I know I want Monkeys, but I can't find any patterns. It's driving me nuts. However I talked to sister Trish Komatas on Sunday who said she would help me if I could just find a picture of the monkeys I like. So I am gonna take her up on that. I am geting way excited now. I love doing the appliqued quilts way more than I liked the pieced ones. Which really surprised me, I didn't expect to enjoy it. Anyway, as soon as I get done quilting I will take pictures, and post them.
Well I hope that this has worked. I added the pictures like I normally do, but this time it just added weird little letters and numbers so I hope this works out.
Anyway if not I will try again. I will sonn have the baby quilts for my grand baby finished and then I will take pictures and post them. I am also working on a quilt for my great nephew due in November. Then I will start a quilt for my baby. I have had a hard time figuring out what I want for my baby. I know I want Monkeys, but I can't find any patterns. It's driving me nuts. However I talked to sister Trish Komatas on Sunday who said she would help me if I could just find a picture of the monkeys I like. So I am gonna take her up on that. I am geting way excited now. I love doing the appliqued quilts way more than I liked the pieced ones. Which really surprised me, I didn't expect to enjoy it. Anyway, as soon as I get done quilting I will take pictures, and post them.
Elizabeth Rose
Elizabeth was nicknamed little bit as a baby. It has kinda stuck for forever, ha ha. Sometimes we just shorten that and call her bit or bitty. Her pet peeve is to be called little spit, her brothers are slowly learning ha ha. Elizabeth was born about 6 weeks early, at first she did great but at 17 days she quit breathing. It was a trial but she obviously made it through that.
When Elizabeth was about 1 year and 17 days old she was walking across the floor and she tripped on a strip that separated the carpet in the dining room from the carpet in the living room. Anyway she fell directly on a cord that was loosely wrapped around the shampooer. I was in the shower because it was the first day I was allowed after having a baby. My husband had stepped outside to grab some fire wood. Bobby came to get me and I told her to get her dad. I climbed out of the shower and wrapped in a towel ran to the living room. To this day I am thankful my husband got there first. She wasn't breathing, her face had turned blue and he was doing CPR, between breathes he was begging god for mercy. After about 10 or 15 minutes she took a breathe. But it was still so scary. She was in shock and shaking really bad, we had to call 911. And when they got there they of course loaded her up in the ambulance. They let me ride with her and when we got a few miles from the house the guy in the back leaned over the seat and said,"ma'am your daughter is gonna be just fine." then he turned to the driver and said,"we need to go faster and turn the siren on." When we got to the hospital, they told me that they couldn't keep her breathing on the way there. When they let me in her room, she didn't recognize me. It was like I was a stranger. It was horrible. The doctor came in and told e she wouldn't make it through the night. That she was to sick to stay in Grand Junction, she showed me x-rays of Bitty's throat and it was crushed, thousands of pieces is what it looked like. So then they life flighted her to Denver. When we got there, the X-rays were gone, so they ordered new ones, when Elizabeth woke up from the flight, she looked right at me and I could tell she knew who I was. There was no fear when she looked at me. She was in the hospital for 1 week and was released directly from intensive care. She was completely healed, except that she couldn't walk anymore. She refused to use her arms for anything, and she wouldn't hardly talk to us. When we were on the way home from Denver in the car I noticed she kept reaching over and rubbing Ezekiel's head. He was barely over two weeks old, but she remembered him and wanted to touch him all the time. When we got home we had a lot to take care of. Everyday I worked with her, tried to get her to walk I would work with her legs and nothing. I couldn't get her to crawl or to eat on her own. I had to feed her and hold her bottle. Even though she had been broken from it the hospital had put her back on a bottle cause they didn't have sippy cups. When I would feed Ezekiel she wanted to sit right beside me she would grunt at me until I lifted her up onto the couch and sat her right beside me. I was getting worried it had been two weeks at home and still she wouldn't use her arms or hands,except to rub Zekey's head. And she wouldn't use her legs for anything. I really started praying that god would show me how to help her. The next time I fed Ezekiel I felt to move over just a couple of inches, Bitty leaned over and kept her hand on his head. So I moved some more and she leaned farther. So I stopped for that day. The next day I started a few inches away from her and scooted twice so she had to move to touch him, and the little booger did. She scooted right over so she could rub his head. I kept working at it everyday and eventually I sat on the floor and she would scoot across the floor, the she started crawling to him. Finally she started walking. It was funny because she only would move to get to her brother. When he started crawling she was finally walking and could keep up with him. When it was over it had taken her 6 months to learn, to crawl, and eat, walk, do everything herself again. But we stuck with it and she did wonderful.
Because they claimed Elizabeth had brain damage, we were told she would never be quite right. That she would be considered mentally challenged. She wouldn't be able to walk, and she would be a virtual vegetable her whole life. Well, last year when Elizabeth started First grade, she did not know her whole alphabet. She deffinately didn't know the sounds of the letters, and we hadn't even started learning math. AT the end of the school year, she was at grade level in reading. And she was in advanced math starting multiplication. She is the smartest girl, probably not in the world but she's pretty smart. She is also the most truthful kid. If you don't want to know the truth don't ask her cause she is mean truthful ha ha. One day before church I had put on a dress and did my hair and asked her if I looked okay. She said seriously mom, you are not gonna wear that dress. It makes you look like your sick. At first I was a little offended, but then my husband came in and said you know that color just makes you look so pail. Don't you have a brighter dress to wear. She didn't mean to be mean to me she was just telling me what she saw ha ha.
Elizabeth has always been a comfort to me in times of sadness. She just has this comforting touch. Even when I'm not sad she hugs me, quite frequently actually. She hasn't been able to sleep without a hug and a kiss since she was about 2. I keep thinking she'll grow out of it but she doesn't. Her and Daniel go to the same school, and when she see's him in the hall she always to his great embarrassment runs up and hugs him. He is always asking me to tell her she can't hug him at school anymore. But I still think it's cute that she looks up to him so much ha ha. I did actually talk to her about not embarrassing him, but she doesn't understand, just yesterday when we went to pick him up from sumer school she ran right over to hug him, and he hollered mmooooommm didn't you have something to talk to Elizabeth about? I just laughed cause he got more attention yelling than her hugging him did.
Elizabeth can be annoying because she is very matter of fact. She points out the rules and tries to line everyone out. Because that's my job it does annoy me sometimes ha ha. Like I said all my children are special in their own ways and Elizabeth is no exception. Her love and caring attitude is one of the things that set her apart from others. I hope one day that she is a great servant to the brethren. Right now she wants the same thing, but I have found as they get older their thoughts on life change drastically.
When Elizabeth was about 1 year and 17 days old she was walking across the floor and she tripped on a strip that separated the carpet in the dining room from the carpet in the living room. Anyway she fell directly on a cord that was loosely wrapped around the shampooer. I was in the shower because it was the first day I was allowed after having a baby. My husband had stepped outside to grab some fire wood. Bobby came to get me and I told her to get her dad. I climbed out of the shower and wrapped in a towel ran to the living room. To this day I am thankful my husband got there first. She wasn't breathing, her face had turned blue and he was doing CPR, between breathes he was begging god for mercy. After about 10 or 15 minutes she took a breathe. But it was still so scary. She was in shock and shaking really bad, we had to call 911. And when they got there they of course loaded her up in the ambulance. They let me ride with her and when we got a few miles from the house the guy in the back leaned over the seat and said,"ma'am your daughter is gonna be just fine." then he turned to the driver and said,"we need to go faster and turn the siren on." When we got to the hospital, they told me that they couldn't keep her breathing on the way there. When they let me in her room, she didn't recognize me. It was like I was a stranger. It was horrible. The doctor came in and told e she wouldn't make it through the night. That she was to sick to stay in Grand Junction, she showed me x-rays of Bitty's throat and it was crushed, thousands of pieces is what it looked like. So then they life flighted her to Denver. When we got there, the X-rays were gone, so they ordered new ones, when Elizabeth woke up from the flight, she looked right at me and I could tell she knew who I was. There was no fear when she looked at me. She was in the hospital for 1 week and was released directly from intensive care. She was completely healed, except that she couldn't walk anymore. She refused to use her arms for anything, and she wouldn't hardly talk to us. When we were on the way home from Denver in the car I noticed she kept reaching over and rubbing Ezekiel's head. He was barely over two weeks old, but she remembered him and wanted to touch him all the time. When we got home we had a lot to take care of. Everyday I worked with her, tried to get her to walk I would work with her legs and nothing. I couldn't get her to crawl or to eat on her own. I had to feed her and hold her bottle. Even though she had been broken from it the hospital had put her back on a bottle cause they didn't have sippy cups. When I would feed Ezekiel she wanted to sit right beside me she would grunt at me until I lifted her up onto the couch and sat her right beside me. I was getting worried it had been two weeks at home and still she wouldn't use her arms or hands,except to rub Zekey's head. And she wouldn't use her legs for anything. I really started praying that god would show me how to help her. The next time I fed Ezekiel I felt to move over just a couple of inches, Bitty leaned over and kept her hand on his head. So I moved some more and she leaned farther. So I stopped for that day. The next day I started a few inches away from her and scooted twice so she had to move to touch him, and the little booger did. She scooted right over so she could rub his head. I kept working at it everyday and eventually I sat on the floor and she would scoot across the floor, the she started crawling to him. Finally she started walking. It was funny because she only would move to get to her brother. When he started crawling she was finally walking and could keep up with him. When it was over it had taken her 6 months to learn, to crawl, and eat, walk, do everything herself again. But we stuck with it and she did wonderful.
Because they claimed Elizabeth had brain damage, we were told she would never be quite right. That she would be considered mentally challenged. She wouldn't be able to walk, and she would be a virtual vegetable her whole life. Well, last year when Elizabeth started First grade, she did not know her whole alphabet. She deffinately didn't know the sounds of the letters, and we hadn't even started learning math. AT the end of the school year, she was at grade level in reading. And she was in advanced math starting multiplication. She is the smartest girl, probably not in the world but she's pretty smart. She is also the most truthful kid. If you don't want to know the truth don't ask her cause she is mean truthful ha ha. One day before church I had put on a dress and did my hair and asked her if I looked okay. She said seriously mom, you are not gonna wear that dress. It makes you look like your sick. At first I was a little offended, but then my husband came in and said you know that color just makes you look so pail. Don't you have a brighter dress to wear. She didn't mean to be mean to me she was just telling me what she saw ha ha.
Elizabeth has always been a comfort to me in times of sadness. She just has this comforting touch. Even when I'm not sad she hugs me, quite frequently actually. She hasn't been able to sleep without a hug and a kiss since she was about 2. I keep thinking she'll grow out of it but she doesn't. Her and Daniel go to the same school, and when she see's him in the hall she always to his great embarrassment runs up and hugs him. He is always asking me to tell her she can't hug him at school anymore. But I still think it's cute that she looks up to him so much ha ha. I did actually talk to her about not embarrassing him, but she doesn't understand, just yesterday when we went to pick him up from sumer school she ran right over to hug him, and he hollered mmooooommm didn't you have something to talk to Elizabeth about? I just laughed cause he got more attention yelling than her hugging him did.
Elizabeth can be annoying because she is very matter of fact. She points out the rules and tries to line everyone out. Because that's my job it does annoy me sometimes ha ha. Like I said all my children are special in their own ways and Elizabeth is no exception. Her love and caring attitude is one of the things that set her apart from others. I hope one day that she is a great servant to the brethren. Right now she wants the same thing, but I have found as they get older their thoughts on life change drastically.
Daniel Ray
I have put off this post for a while, because it is hard to describe this boy of mine. He craves attention, but has the softest heart. He has such inspiring ideas, but can embarrass me faster than anything by his comments. He loves to sing, but does it at the weirdest times. He can memorize every line in any movie but can't get his multiplication tables. He loves to learn but hates to read.
Wow that wasn't as hard as I thought. Daniel was the kid that we didn't expect. I had just had John and he was about 7 months old when I felt movement in my stomach. I really thought Satan was tormenting me. There was no way I was already gonna have another baby. So I asked mom and her being the mom she is agreed with me and we thought up a good explanation. It was a tumor, sad but what I had to deal with. I gained weight and got so sick, but it was obviously the symptoms of a tumor. Then when John was about 10 months old I started hurting really bad. I assumed I was going to pass a tumor and called a sister. She let me know I was probably having a baby not a tumor. Then six weeks later sure enough a baby was born.
Needless to say, he was a blessing in disguise. Just because I wouldn't accept what was to be. Well 10 years later, I couldn't imagine life without him. Although today I don't know what would have happened if I could have caught him. He broke out in song after church while we were all in the parking lot,"Hey now here we go, got to make them come back for more." then "long black train" at the top of his lungs" it was driving me nuts. When he was a baby he would sing I'm using my Bible for a road map. It was the cutest thing to hear cause he was pretty little. But now he likes to sing, Marching in the light or Gods wonderful people. Which I guess could be worse.
Last year in the fall I found Daniel sitting in the yard just sobbing so I went out and sat with him and asked what was wrong. He said he was so sad because the trees looked like they were dying and the birds would have no where to build nests. So I explained that the tree's slept in the winter and the birds flew to where it was warmer. He seemed to take it better, but he still gets the sniffles when the landlord trims the bushes or the trees cause he thinks he's killing them.
Two years ago for his 8th birthday he wanted a fishing pole. He talked about his fishing pole all the time. About three weeks before his birthday I asked why it was so important to get a fishing pole. He told me he really needed it cause brother Leroy had read a passage in the bible a couple weeks before about how we should be fishers of men. He thought that meant he should go fishing. I bought him a fishing pole but I don't think we ever took him fishing. He still talks about how Uncle Sean is gonna teach him how one day. Cause we told him we really didn't know how to fish but his Uncle did hee heee.
We were eating dinner at the church in a large group of brethren. The boys were joking about starting a food fight. Daniel pipes up very loud my mom would beat me to within an inch of my life. I was so embarrassed I had probably almost assuredly used those words with him but I wouldn't ever hurt the rotten kid. Anyway I didn't live that down for a very long time.
We are now into 9 months of working on multiplication tables. We need him to memorize them. He still hasn't gotten past the 2's. However he watched Transformers three yes I said three times and could quote the movie. Word for exact word. I was so annoyed, it doesn't even look like I work with him but I feel like we read and multiply ALL the time. He knows exactly what his favorite characters say and do all the way through the movie though. Not that that's gonna help him later in life, but then again maybe he will be a movie editor or something.
Daniel is turning 10 in 6 days oh how the years have flown by. He finally three or four weeks ago has started sleeping alone. He used to have to have a brother, mother, or sister sleep either on his bed or on the floor next to him his whole life. He couldn't sleep otherwise. But I was so happy when Ezekiel was so bad that he was able to sleep alone. What a big boy right???
Daniel is fascinated with space and all that happens there. His favorite web site is www.space.com he loves it. He loves to watch the stars and see all the things that happen up there. We actually watched the sapce station pass over a couple times last week and he was so excited.
I think that his quirky personality is part of the reason I love him so much. He can be annoying but he is so special at the same time. Since Ezekiel has been better he is Daniel's little bud. Daniel protects him and plays with him and teaches him so many things. He makes sure Zeke is being treated right and stands up for him all the time. He wasn't like that before, and I definately like the new Daniel. I think That Zeke being sick scared him really bad. But it was a good scare apparently.
Wow that wasn't as hard as I thought. Daniel was the kid that we didn't expect. I had just had John and he was about 7 months old when I felt movement in my stomach. I really thought Satan was tormenting me. There was no way I was already gonna have another baby. So I asked mom and her being the mom she is agreed with me and we thought up a good explanation. It was a tumor, sad but what I had to deal with. I gained weight and got so sick, but it was obviously the symptoms of a tumor. Then when John was about 10 months old I started hurting really bad. I assumed I was going to pass a tumor and called a sister. She let me know I was probably having a baby not a tumor. Then six weeks later sure enough a baby was born.
Needless to say, he was a blessing in disguise. Just because I wouldn't accept what was to be. Well 10 years later, I couldn't imagine life without him. Although today I don't know what would have happened if I could have caught him. He broke out in song after church while we were all in the parking lot,"Hey now here we go, got to make them come back for more." then "long black train" at the top of his lungs" it was driving me nuts. When he was a baby he would sing I'm using my Bible for a road map. It was the cutest thing to hear cause he was pretty little. But now he likes to sing, Marching in the light or Gods wonderful people. Which I guess could be worse.
Last year in the fall I found Daniel sitting in the yard just sobbing so I went out and sat with him and asked what was wrong. He said he was so sad because the trees looked like they were dying and the birds would have no where to build nests. So I explained that the tree's slept in the winter and the birds flew to where it was warmer. He seemed to take it better, but he still gets the sniffles when the landlord trims the bushes or the trees cause he thinks he's killing them.
Two years ago for his 8th birthday he wanted a fishing pole. He talked about his fishing pole all the time. About three weeks before his birthday I asked why it was so important to get a fishing pole. He told me he really needed it cause brother Leroy had read a passage in the bible a couple weeks before about how we should be fishers of men. He thought that meant he should go fishing. I bought him a fishing pole but I don't think we ever took him fishing. He still talks about how Uncle Sean is gonna teach him how one day. Cause we told him we really didn't know how to fish but his Uncle did hee heee.
We were eating dinner at the church in a large group of brethren. The boys were joking about starting a food fight. Daniel pipes up very loud my mom would beat me to within an inch of my life. I was so embarrassed I had probably almost assuredly used those words with him but I wouldn't ever hurt the rotten kid. Anyway I didn't live that down for a very long time.
We are now into 9 months of working on multiplication tables. We need him to memorize them. He still hasn't gotten past the 2's. However he watched Transformers three yes I said three times and could quote the movie. Word for exact word. I was so annoyed, it doesn't even look like I work with him but I feel like we read and multiply ALL the time. He knows exactly what his favorite characters say and do all the way through the movie though. Not that that's gonna help him later in life, but then again maybe he will be a movie editor or something.
Daniel is turning 10 in 6 days oh how the years have flown by. He finally three or four weeks ago has started sleeping alone. He used to have to have a brother, mother, or sister sleep either on his bed or on the floor next to him his whole life. He couldn't sleep otherwise. But I was so happy when Ezekiel was so bad that he was able to sleep alone. What a big boy right???
Daniel is fascinated with space and all that happens there. His favorite web site is www.space.com he loves it. He loves to watch the stars and see all the things that happen up there. We actually watched the sapce station pass over a couple times last week and he was so excited.
I think that his quirky personality is part of the reason I love him so much. He can be annoying but he is so special at the same time. Since Ezekiel has been better he is Daniel's little bud. Daniel protects him and plays with him and teaches him so many things. He makes sure Zeke is being treated right and stands up for him all the time. He wasn't like that before, and I definately like the new Daniel. I think That Zeke being sick scared him really bad. But it was a good scare apparently.
Once again so thankful for the Faith
My husband's niece just had a death in her family. Her mother-in-law. I totally knew but it's easy to forget how much the brethren do for each other. She (my niece) called me yesterday to see what to do about the dinner after the funeral on Saturday. I asked doesn't the church put that together? Because they are having a church service at another church. They don't go to our church. Anyway, she said they told her they can go in on some chicken but for the most part they had to find someone to bring food. That's not a problem for me because I had already counted on taking my regular amount of food, and for funerals at the church I try to take three times what my family consumes at a single meal.
Anyway, I was so thankful for the brethren, I remember when our boys passed away there were so many people at the funerals, and who just came to see us at our house to offer comfort as well as their condolences, I really didn't realize the world doesn't have this. It's so important to me to be a light and to help those around me that it's just part of my life. But when I talk to someone in a situation where they don't have that it's crazy. I wonder where are there friends but I also realize I was raised to be a good sister and mom always told me to take extra to church dinners and funerals. So it's just who I am. But now I wonder if I should take even more. I really am in a delemma. Not quite sure how much is enough. I really want them to have plenty.
I read Stephanie's obituary and I was so sad I cried for a long time and I really didn't know her, but I am so devistated by her passing. She was only 41, and through an accident her life was taken. She had been out and when she came in she parked in the garage, we think she forgot to turn her truck off, and when she realized the garage had already filled with carbon monoxide and she couldn't get back in the house. It just made me so sad and made me ask was I the light I should have been, was I a good example. Could I have tried harder. Maybe I should have invited her to church. I always go through the what ifs but this time it was so much worse on me. She was only a year older than my husband.. Anyway I have tried to not think about it too much cause I just start crying and I don't think it's good for the baby for me to be emotional all the time. SO calm and relaxed is what I am trying all the time.
I am sooooo emotional this time. I cry all the time, I was watching the news and they were talking about how because our summer was late coming we weren't gonna have as good of a peach crop. I was just sobbing over the stupid peaches. My husband was not very sympathetic and kept asking why are you so upset again? I don't understand..It's kinda funny now, but I have had 8 children and have never had this problem before. I mean my emotions were different but not like this. I also have a second quilt top almost finished just have to quilt them both for the shower on the 29th. Then I want to do a quilt for my baby but I can't find an applique pattern for a monkey. If anyone has any ideas let me know. really want to get at least one quilt done...
Anyway, I was so thankful for the brethren, I remember when our boys passed away there were so many people at the funerals, and who just came to see us at our house to offer comfort as well as their condolences, I really didn't realize the world doesn't have this. It's so important to me to be a light and to help those around me that it's just part of my life. But when I talk to someone in a situation where they don't have that it's crazy. I wonder where are there friends but I also realize I was raised to be a good sister and mom always told me to take extra to church dinners and funerals. So it's just who I am. But now I wonder if I should take even more. I really am in a delemma. Not quite sure how much is enough. I really want them to have plenty.
I read Stephanie's obituary and I was so sad I cried for a long time and I really didn't know her, but I am so devistated by her passing. She was only 41, and through an accident her life was taken. She had been out and when she came in she parked in the garage, we think she forgot to turn her truck off, and when she realized the garage had already filled with carbon monoxide and she couldn't get back in the house. It just made me so sad and made me ask was I the light I should have been, was I a good example. Could I have tried harder. Maybe I should have invited her to church. I always go through the what ifs but this time it was so much worse on me. She was only a year older than my husband.. Anyway I have tried to not think about it too much cause I just start crying and I don't think it's good for the baby for me to be emotional all the time. SO calm and relaxed is what I am trying all the time.
I am sooooo emotional this time. I cry all the time, I was watching the news and they were talking about how because our summer was late coming we weren't gonna have as good of a peach crop. I was just sobbing over the stupid peaches. My husband was not very sympathetic and kept asking why are you so upset again? I don't understand..It's kinda funny now, but I have had 8 children and have never had this problem before. I mean my emotions were different but not like this. I also have a second quilt top almost finished just have to quilt them both for the shower on the 29th. Then I want to do a quilt for my baby but I can't find an applique pattern for a monkey. If anyone has any ideas let me know. really want to get at least one quilt done...
Blissful
I have had such a good pregnancy this time, I just wanted to say thank you Lord in a public forum. I have been so sick with my children, except the first two. I couldn't keep food down, and everything made me have extreme heart burn. With the last three I started having slight contractions from the time I was three months and they just got worse and worse until they were born. This time there has only been slight morning sickness, which I am sooooooooooo thankful for. I haven't been hurting and can get out and walk every day almost. I have been getting dizzy, but I am always anemic (I have low iron) so that's probably why. But I just wanted to say I am so thankful that the lord has been so good to me. I am only 15 weeks, so I could deffinately have the sickness later on or whatever but I am thankful I've made it this far without.
I am so grateful today because last night I did feel bad, I had gotten stressed over situations out of my control. Things I can't do anything about, but when I calmed down and decided I wouldn't worry anymore I was fine. It made me realize how good I have felt this time.
I am so grateful today because last night I did feel bad, I had gotten stressed over situations out of my control. Things I can't do anything about, but when I calmed down and decided I wouldn't worry anymore I was fine. It made me realize how good I have felt this time.
Oh happy day
I am having a great morning just sitting here with the kids. Zeke is wanting more attention than he probably should but he's been sick so that's okay ha ha. Faith is getting tired of him getting so much attention and asked if you can have your noodle thing(appendix) out with out going to the doctor ha ha.
Faith was excepted to preschool this year. Last year she didn't qualify because there were so many children who really needed it and they didn't feel like she did, but this year after we have made the decision to move, she gets accepted.
OH wait did I not mention that before.Well Billy and I have been praying and have felt like we weren't supposed to move yet. The last time we prayed about it however we asked that one of two things happen if we are supposed to move and though it's been almost a year one of those things happened. We are still prying but we are hoping after our grandbaby is born to move out to the Portland , Oregon area. I am so excited, I keep talking to Billy about things we did as a kid and what was there when I was little. He told me half of it probably isn't even there anymore, ha ha. But I've been looking online and have found alot of places I remember. We moved from there when I was 9 so it's been a long time. We are planning to sell most of our stuff because we don't want to tote it that far. I have been putting out Billy's resume a lot all over he really wants a maintenance job so that's where I've been sending his resume.
I think it's gonna be hard to leave here on one hand we have lived here longer than anywhere else and it was so hard to leave Kansas, so this is expected to be way harder. AND Elizabeth is very scared about it. But we told her we would always make sure that they are safe, and she seemed to calm down quite a bit. My older girls are ecstatic about the idea, we haven't officially told them but they have guessed, we just haven't had time to sit down and have a family meeting lately.
Anyway just wanted to give a small update..
Faith was excepted to preschool this year. Last year she didn't qualify because there were so many children who really needed it and they didn't feel like she did, but this year after we have made the decision to move, she gets accepted.
OH wait did I not mention that before.Well Billy and I have been praying and have felt like we weren't supposed to move yet. The last time we prayed about it however we asked that one of two things happen if we are supposed to move and though it's been almost a year one of those things happened. We are still prying but we are hoping after our grandbaby is born to move out to the Portland , Oregon area. I am so excited, I keep talking to Billy about things we did as a kid and what was there when I was little. He told me half of it probably isn't even there anymore, ha ha. But I've been looking online and have found alot of places I remember. We moved from there when I was 9 so it's been a long time. We are planning to sell most of our stuff because we don't want to tote it that far. I have been putting out Billy's resume a lot all over he really wants a maintenance job so that's where I've been sending his resume.
I think it's gonna be hard to leave here on one hand we have lived here longer than anywhere else and it was so hard to leave Kansas, so this is expected to be way harder. AND Elizabeth is very scared about it. But we told her we would always make sure that they are safe, and she seemed to calm down quite a bit. My older girls are ecstatic about the idea, we haven't officially told them but they have guessed, we just haven't had time to sit down and have a family meeting lately.
Anyway just wanted to give a small update..
Grandma
So I know I've kinda mentioned it before, but I am gonna be a grandma. I am so very excited. Shayla is due the 12 of September, and we think it's a girl but we could be wrong. Well at least I think it's a girl. I had a dream that she came to see me and brought a beautiful little girl, a couple nights later she called to let me know she was gonna have a baby.
I actually talked to someone the other day that didn't think I had blogged about it and I realized I haven't. I can't believe I haven't yet because it's such a big deal to my husband and I. Just a few months after Shayla told us she was expecting I found out that I am expecting again. I am very excited about both babies because my baby will have a friend and so will hers. I was worried because there is gonna be 5 years between my babies and I have always wanted my kids to be close, I am also a worry wart that never quits. SO even though I worry it will all probably be just fine.
Anyway, I am gonna go be in the other room while Shayla has her baby. I don't think it would be good for me to be in the room with her, and mom agreed. I was kinda sad by that but I've kinda excepted it as god's will and been able to deal with it just fine. I am helping with the baby shower however because I can't be there and am very excited about that. I think we decided on a buggy theme, and it will match the quilt I made for her baby. I actually have several quilts made and am making another one for the shower that is a miniature of the one I did for their wedding. It's gonna be so cute. When I finish I will add a picture of it.
Well I just wanted to tell you about my impending grandmotherhood....Is that a word ha ha..
I actually talked to someone the other day that didn't think I had blogged about it and I realized I haven't. I can't believe I haven't yet because it's such a big deal to my husband and I. Just a few months after Shayla told us she was expecting I found out that I am expecting again. I am very excited about both babies because my baby will have a friend and so will hers. I was worried because there is gonna be 5 years between my babies and I have always wanted my kids to be close, I am also a worry wart that never quits. SO even though I worry it will all probably be just fine.
Anyway, I am gonna go be in the other room while Shayla has her baby. I don't think it would be good for me to be in the room with her, and mom agreed. I was kinda sad by that but I've kinda excepted it as god's will and been able to deal with it just fine. I am helping with the baby shower however because I can't be there and am very excited about that. I think we decided on a buggy theme, and it will match the quilt I made for her baby. I actually have several quilts made and am making another one for the shower that is a miniature of the one I did for their wedding. It's gonna be so cute. When I finish I will add a picture of it.
Well I just wanted to tell you about my impending grandmotherhood....Is that a word ha ha..
Getting Baptised
Okay so Saturday we went to the lake and let the kids just plain have fun. They played in the water for about an hour when this large group of people came down to the water clapping and singing. I kept saying their gonna baptise someone but everyone thought I was making a funny. Sure enough after a bit two of the men got into the water. We couldn't hear what they were saying but they talked for a bit and a kid walked down to them and was baptised. Everyone clapped and the kid walked back up to the shore and set off to himself on the picnic table in the back. We watched this with nine people. I received soooo much comfort. Your gonna think it's silly probably but I made my kids get out of the water out of respect, they weren't very thrilled with me though.
Any way the comfort came because I really thought about how much love there is in the faith. I have a hard time getting things across like I think them so bear with me. These kids were baptised and then walked off by themselves. When I was baptised, I was immediately met at the beach with a couple blankets, after they layed on hands everyone came and greeted and hugged me. I felt such a joy and peace at the same time. These kids looked so alone.
There are times I take for granted the faith. I think to myself this is how it should be and this person should be doing this or that person should be doing that. I feel alone because of my choices and what I allow myself to feel. I think of hospitality as one thing when I see another all around me. I don't feel hospitality is call ahead seating ha ha. But at the same time it's really not my place to say. Anyway I have been down lately for reasons that are hard for me to explain. But I felt like god showed me it's all in my head. So I am going to try harder to make things easier on myself.
Any way the comfort came because I really thought about how much love there is in the faith. I have a hard time getting things across like I think them so bear with me. These kids were baptised and then walked off by themselves. When I was baptised, I was immediately met at the beach with a couple blankets, after they layed on hands everyone came and greeted and hugged me. I felt such a joy and peace at the same time. These kids looked so alone.
There are times I take for granted the faith. I think to myself this is how it should be and this person should be doing this or that person should be doing that. I feel alone because of my choices and what I allow myself to feel. I think of hospitality as one thing when I see another all around me. I don't feel hospitality is call ahead seating ha ha. But at the same time it's really not my place to say. Anyway I have been down lately for reasons that are hard for me to explain. But I felt like god showed me it's all in my head. So I am going to try harder to make things easier on myself.
Billy Joe
Okay so I realized last night that I got out of order a bit. Billy Jo is the oldest of our kids, but I think of him as our third child because it was after Charity was born that we found out about him. Billy and I thought we had life figured out we had finally figured out how to get these two crazy girls ready in time for church as well as ourselves and make it before the first preacher got on the floor. We felt we'd been through trials enough that we were gonna be on a straightaway. No trials for months maybe years. We had had some hard ones right????
Well, when we were in this mode one day(or so I received some mail addressed to Billy. I opened it before he got home and thought my world was crushed. He was being ordered to take a paternity test. I had seen the little boy a couple of months earlier and in my mind I already knew the answer. I sat around that day crying and thinking what am I gonna do. I am not the nurturing type of person that can care for a child that isn't my own. I prayed and prayed and at about two that afternoon I came to a realization. I was born god's child I was adopted and he loves me as if I was always his child. I can do this. By the time Billy got home I was in a way better frame of mind. He was shocked, but I kept saying we can do this. So needless to say he took the test and 6 weeks later we found out he was a daddy. We immediately called BJ's mom to meet BJ. We met him and I thought he was just a miniature of my husband. How could I not love him right?? Well, it wasn't quite that easy. It was very hard for me to adjust, But every night and sometimes during the day I would pray that GOd would give me a love for him as I has for my children. Well, in about 2001 we lost contact with him. We weren't able to get ahold of him for about 6 years. In 2007 my husband was wanting to move back to Wichita. It was hard for me because I wasn't very happy there. I have asthma and couldn't breathe well in the summer and for many reasons I didn't want to go. However, I was willing to go where god wanted me to go. So I prayed if we were supposed to stay in Colorado he would allow us to get in contact with BJ. Probably never happen right? 2 hours later BJ called and asked can I talk to my dad. Once again I'm sobbing and crying cause mostly I didn't have to move again, but we had also been able to contact BJ again.
A couple months later BJ came to see us. We thought he was gonna stay permanently and when he went back to WIchita I realized god had answered my prayers, I ached right in the center of my heart, knowing he was making a bad decision. It was so very hard.
However to make a long story shorter...ha ha He came back. Met the woman who is now his wife and through trial and error they are working through some rough things. They are now getting ready to have a baby in September (a girl I'm sure). and they seem so happy right now. I am so thankful that GOd brought him into our lives. He was baptized during a very hard trial that my husband and my girls and I were going through and helped us remember that forgiveness is very important. He helped us learn to forgive for the greater good even when you don't really wanna. Holding that anger closer than your children is not a good idea. And we are better for the lesson. Even when it's very hard to forgive it's what's best for you and the other person or persons involved.
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it seemed ha ha)
Well, when we were in this mode one day(or so I received some mail addressed to Billy. I opened it before he got home and thought my world was crushed. He was being ordered to take a paternity test. I had seen the little boy a couple of months earlier and in my mind I already knew the answer. I sat around that day crying and thinking what am I gonna do. I am not the nurturing type of person that can care for a child that isn't my own. I prayed and prayed and at about two that afternoon I came to a realization. I was born god's child I was adopted and he loves me as if I was always his child. I can do this. By the time Billy got home I was in a way better frame of mind. He was shocked, but I kept saying we can do this. So needless to say he took the test and 6 weeks later we found out he was a daddy. We immediately called BJ's mom to meet BJ. We met him and I thought he was just a miniature of my husband. How could I not love him right?? Well, it wasn't quite that easy. It was very hard for me to adjust, But every night and sometimes during the day I would pray that GOd would give me a love for him as I has for my children. Well, in about 2001 we lost contact with him. We weren't able to get ahold of him for about 6 years. In 2007 my husband was wanting to move back to Wichita. It was hard for me because I wasn't very happy there. I have asthma and couldn't breathe well in the summer and for many reasons I didn't want to go. However, I was willing to go where god wanted me to go. So I prayed if we were supposed to stay in Colorado he would allow us to get in contact with BJ. Probably never happen right? 2 hours later BJ called and asked can I talk to my dad. Once again I'm sobbing and crying cause mostly I didn't have to move again, but we had also been able to contact BJ again.
A couple months later BJ came to see us. We thought he was gonna stay permanently and when he went back to WIchita I realized god had answered my prayers, I ached right in the center of my heart, knowing he was making a bad decision. It was so very hard.
However to make a long story shorter...ha ha He came back. Met the woman who is now his wife and through trial and error they are working through some rough things. They are now getting ready to have a baby in September (a girl I'm sure). and they seem so happy right now. I am so thankful that GOd brought him into our lives. He was baptized during a very hard trial that my husband and my girls and I were going through and helped us remember that forgiveness is very important. He helped us learn to forgive for the greater good even when you don't really wanna. Holding that anger closer than your children is not a good idea. And we are better for the lesson. Even when it's very hard to forgive it's what's best for you and the other person or persons involved.
John Ray
John was my first boy. When I was expecting him we really didn't expect him to make it. We also thought he was a girl ha ha. A girl he was not. He was born about 10 p.m. on June the 7th 1998. Billy had only been in Grand Junction a couple days. I had been here a little over a week. Maybe two weeks, Anyway, from the getgo I expected him to have problems eating and on day 3 it was no surprise when I couldn't get him to stay awake long enough to eat. And in normal freakin out Barbara fashion I started calling mom and crying and getting really scared. I may not remember this exactly correctly but I remember being so upset and saying he won't stay awake to eat. I remember feeling so small. But then Marisela came in and held him for a minute, then I remember her turning him upside down....then when he started screaming at her she flipped him back and handed him to me and said something like try now. I don't remember him having another problem after that. He had the best appetite and I didn't worry about him not eating again. He loved balls of every kind. Especially baseballs, my mom said there were so many times she would hear him yell ball and that was the only warning she had that he was throwing a baseball at her face, and she would have to duck.
I can remember when we put in the new carpet at the church he was very fussy and only singing this one Christmas song would make him happy so I set in the recliner in the church and sang beautiful star of Bethlehem over and over and if I went to slow he would say faster mama faster. I remember being so frustrated with him that day, but it's one of my favorite memories. Isn't it funny how that works?
When John was almost two he was taken from us in a fire. It was very devistating and though I can talk about him a-lot now, it still brings tears to my eyes remembering. Because I miss him so very much. I love to talk about him, because it keeps him alive in my heart. That's so important to me, I don't want anyone to forget him because for some reason it feels like if he's not remembered his life was for naught and I can't ever believe that. There was a reason god gave us that little boy if only for a short while.
To this day I can talk about him to people around here and they can remember exactly what they were doing and where they were when they heard he was gone. It's kinda weird but it brings me great comfort, because they all remember him and his life touched so many. Not just our family but people he had never even met, and some that he had. He loved to go to church, which I have found rare in children that small. Normally they don't care, but John would always ask if we were going and what day.
When I remember John, I remember a boy who loved everyone he was around. It made him feel so big to walk into church and be patted on the head by the older brethren. I remember Uncle Erwin would always tell us John sounds like a good strong Easter name. We would always laugh and then John would laugh even though we all knew he didn't understand what we were laughing about.
John loved cars, balls and family. He was a special child who seemed happy all the time. His very favorite food was raisins. And his favorite car was a miniature lambourgini that had doors that would open, he would put raisins inside and when they crashed he would eat them. His favorite toy was a football that was blue and silver, it was a nerf in his favorite team the Cowboys colors. He is missed by all those that knew and loved him.
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I can remember when we put in the new carpet at the church he was very fussy and only singing this one Christmas song would make him happy so I set in the recliner in the church and sang beautiful star of Bethlehem over and over and if I went to slow he would say faster mama faster. I remember being so frustrated with him that day, but it's one of my favorite memories. Isn't it funny how that works?
When John was almost two he was taken from us in a fire. It was very devistating and though I can talk about him a-lot now, it still brings tears to my eyes remembering. Because I miss him so very much. I love to talk about him, because it keeps him alive in my heart. That's so important to me, I don't want anyone to forget him because for some reason it feels like if he's not remembered his life was for naught and I can't ever believe that. There was a reason god gave us that little boy if only for a short while.
To this day I can talk about him to people around here and they can remember exactly what they were doing and where they were when they heard he was gone. It's kinda weird but it brings me great comfort, because they all remember him and his life touched so many. Not just our family but people he had never even met, and some that he had. He loved to go to church, which I have found rare in children that small. Normally they don't care, but John would always ask if we were going and what day.
When I remember John, I remember a boy who loved everyone he was around. It made him feel so big to walk into church and be patted on the head by the older brethren. I remember Uncle Erwin would always tell us John sounds like a good strong Easter name. We would always laugh and then John would laugh even though we all knew he didn't understand what we were laughing about.
John loved cars, balls and family. He was a special child who seemed happy all the time. His very favorite food was raisins. And his favorite car was a miniature lambourgini that had doors that would open, he would put raisins inside and when they crashed he would eat them. His favorite toy was a football that was blue and silver, it was a nerf in his favorite team the Cowboys colors. He is missed by all those that knew and loved him.
Charity RayLynn
Charity is my second baby. I really thought she was a boy. Well before she was born. My aunt had a dream that she was a boy and I had a dream..When she was born there was no disappointment for me though, I was just glad she was healthy. That lasted all of two weeks. At two weeks I noticed she was losing weight not gaining. I would try to feed her more often but she kept losing. She was born at 6lbs 6 ozs. When she was 5 weeks I really started getting scared. I think god really protected me from seeing how bad she really was, but I saw enough to be scared. I could see her ribs when I changed her diaper and her stomach looked bloated to me. When she was 6 weeks old I brought her to Colorado to see my mom. My mom had me show her to an older Sister here in Colorado. She recommended that I try to feed her with an eye dropper, so I started that every hour as much as she would take and I started to see an improvement. We were at my moms for just a couple days and the authorities came out. They made me take her to the hospital, where they could find nothing wrong. They just diagnosed her with failure to thrive. Which meant she decided she didn't want to eat anymore, or that's how they explained it. A week later I had to take her to a specialist, where I was told she was born without a sucking reflux. She was 7 weeks old and they didn't know how she had made it that long. They started putting me and her together through classes so I could teach her to suck on her bottle. Finally at eight weeks she started taking to the bottle and eating. So I went back home to Kansas where once again the authorities came out. They asked me to take her to the hospital again, but she had gained two pounds and I saw her doing much better. I asked for a court order, and they removed her from my custody. She was gone for 72 hours before we knew where she was. Then we were able to go see her. The doctor told me she was so delayed in her growth that we would never have a normal child. She would be mentally retarded, and probably would not be able to attend school with other children. He also said we probably would never see her walk. Apparently a baby needs to gain so much weight in their first couple months for their brain growth. But apparently he didn't know my God.
Well at 15 months Charity proved them wrong, she started walking. Then I decided to teach her at home and surprise surprise she was able to learn. Finally in Kindergarten I decided to put her in public school. She did pretty good. She was a little slower, but she was getting it.
Charity is now 12 almost 13, she probably is not what you would call normal (ha ha joking) but she's deffinately NOT mentally retarded. She bakes the best cookies and brownies. Also cakes and she can make almost any meal on the stove top. She has been such an inspiration and light in my life.
Charity is a caregiver of the highest sort and one day that will be one of her gifts in the faith I am sure.
She has a faith that is so plain to see and she wants the faith in her life. I feel it's a gift to be her mother.
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Well at 15 months Charity proved them wrong, she started walking. Then I decided to teach her at home and surprise surprise she was able to learn. Finally in Kindergarten I decided to put her in public school. She did pretty good. She was a little slower, but she was getting it.
Charity is now 12 almost 13, she probably is not what you would call normal (ha ha joking) but she's deffinately NOT mentally retarded. She bakes the best cookies and brownies. Also cakes and she can make almost any meal on the stove top. She has been such an inspiration and light in my life.
Charity is a caregiver of the highest sort and one day that will be one of her gifts in the faith I am sure.
She has a faith that is so plain to see and she wants the faith in her life. I feel it's a gift to be her mother.
Bobby LeeAnn
Today, I decided to dedicate a blog to each of my wonderful children. I decided to start with Bobby LeeAnn.
About a year almost after Billy and I were married we had Bobby LeeAnn, she was such a precious baby born on the 28th of May. I thought I was an awesome mother but looking back I made some huge mistakes. But a 18 I thought I knew it all. Bobby was pretty tiny when she was born, she weighed in at 6 lbs 6 ozs. but when the health nurse came out just three weeks later she calculated our scales at home to be off and told me Bobby was only 4 lbs 6 ozs. I don't know about this, I always believed them to know what they were doing but I don't kmow for sure. I do know she was a tiny baby. The adventures of Bobby were great, and I learned to be a mom. I learned a-lot about myself as a person in that year, about what I really wanted in life and about the things that shouldn't be in my life. I learned to quit saying crap and instead started yelling crayon when I stubbed my toe. That word is just not cute coming out of a 9 month olds mouth. However it was so cute when she started yelling crayon!!! I also learned not to allow smoking around my children. Bobby would develop a weird yellow rash in her hair and on her skin, everything that wasn't covered by clothes. Also she ran around in only a diaper a lot so sometimes it was really bad. Which brings me to the next thing I learned keep clothes on your babies at all times. You never know when there might be an emergency. Well for instance when your husband is on his way to work and has a flat (working third shift) and you have to find clothes and keys. Get the baby dressed and drive 20 miles in 2 minutes so he won't be late for work. I also learned that moms make mistakes and they should never hide it from their kids. Kids need to know that moms make mistakes so when mom gets pulled over going 55 in a 30 the kid won't say, "sometimes mommy really drives fast but only when she's mad at grandma and grandpa" to the police officer.
Bobby was about two and she and her younger sister Charity were best friends. One afternoon they were playing in their room, and all the sudden I kept hearing Bobby yell help me mommy. I started looking and then got frantic running up and down the hall looking in every closet as well as every nook and cranny, Under the beds, everywhere. Charity was standing in the hall, and I kept asking where is your sister and she would shrug. I finally decided maybe the bathroom so I went in there no Bobby but as I'm looking in the bathroom I heard Bobby behind me near Charity yell again. Charity was standing in front of the dryer. SO I made her move to the side and opened the door and there was my baby just sobbing. Somehow Charity had gotten Bobby in the dryer and Charity had closed the door and stood there until I found her. I was so mad at her that poor baby was so scared. She probably did something to Charity before that, but that's besides the point. Ha ha. Bobby had many, many adventures though, she would hide and then when I went to find her she wouldn't make a peep even when I Was close. Once we were at the church and I couldn't find her. I was looking everywhere, I started to get hysterical because I couldn't find her so my husband asked everyone too look around them. After about 30 minutes they finally found her. She was hiding under a bench and thought we were playing hide and seek, so when I would holler her name she would just be as quiet as could be so I wouldn't find her..talk about embarrassing.
Bobby is now 14 years old, I don't know how that happened seems like just yesterday she was just a baby depending on me for everything. She has gotten so independent, but I guess if she wasn't I would really be worried ha ha.
In the last two years Bobby has really come into her own, she knows how she believes about everything and sticks to it. She also is a very protective girl. She really protects the kids, and when they are sick she is right there worrying as much as me almost. She will make a very good mother one day.
Bobby wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up and when she finishes it I will post a picture of the very first Bobby Reed original purse. Should be done in a week. Or that's her guess it might take a little longer.
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About a year almost after Billy and I were married we had Bobby LeeAnn, she was such a precious baby born on the 28th of May. I thought I was an awesome mother but looking back I made some huge mistakes. But a 18 I thought I knew it all. Bobby was pretty tiny when she was born, she weighed in at 6 lbs 6 ozs. but when the health nurse came out just three weeks later she calculated our scales at home to be off and told me Bobby was only 4 lbs 6 ozs. I don't know about this, I always believed them to know what they were doing but I don't kmow for sure. I do know she was a tiny baby. The adventures of Bobby were great, and I learned to be a mom. I learned a-lot about myself as a person in that year, about what I really wanted in life and about the things that shouldn't be in my life. I learned to quit saying crap and instead started yelling crayon when I stubbed my toe. That word is just not cute coming out of a 9 month olds mouth. However it was so cute when she started yelling crayon!!! I also learned not to allow smoking around my children. Bobby would develop a weird yellow rash in her hair and on her skin, everything that wasn't covered by clothes. Also she ran around in only a diaper a lot so sometimes it was really bad. Which brings me to the next thing I learned keep clothes on your babies at all times. You never know when there might be an emergency. Well for instance when your husband is on his way to work and has a flat (working third shift) and you have to find clothes and keys. Get the baby dressed and drive 20 miles in 2 minutes so he won't be late for work. I also learned that moms make mistakes and they should never hide it from their kids. Kids need to know that moms make mistakes so when mom gets pulled over going 55 in a 30 the kid won't say, "sometimes mommy really drives fast but only when she's mad at grandma and grandpa" to the police officer.
Bobby was about two and she and her younger sister Charity were best friends. One afternoon they were playing in their room, and all the sudden I kept hearing Bobby yell help me mommy. I started looking and then got frantic running up and down the hall looking in every closet as well as every nook and cranny, Under the beds, everywhere. Charity was standing in the hall, and I kept asking where is your sister and she would shrug. I finally decided maybe the bathroom so I went in there no Bobby but as I'm looking in the bathroom I heard Bobby behind me near Charity yell again. Charity was standing in front of the dryer. SO I made her move to the side and opened the door and there was my baby just sobbing. Somehow Charity had gotten Bobby in the dryer and Charity had closed the door and stood there until I found her. I was so mad at her that poor baby was so scared. She probably did something to Charity before that, but that's besides the point. Ha ha. Bobby had many, many adventures though, she would hide and then when I went to find her she wouldn't make a peep even when I Was close. Once we were at the church and I couldn't find her. I was looking everywhere, I started to get hysterical because I couldn't find her so my husband asked everyone too look around them. After about 30 minutes they finally found her. She was hiding under a bench and thought we were playing hide and seek, so when I would holler her name she would just be as quiet as could be so I wouldn't find her..talk about embarrassing.
Bobby is now 14 years old, I don't know how that happened seems like just yesterday she was just a baby depending on me for everything. She has gotten so independent, but I guess if she wasn't I would really be worried ha ha.
In the last two years Bobby has really come into her own, she knows how she believes about everything and sticks to it. She also is a very protective girl. She really protects the kids, and when they are sick she is right there worrying as much as me almost. She will make a very good mother one day.
Bobby wants to be a fashion designer when she grows up and when she finishes it I will post a picture of the very first Bobby Reed original purse. Should be done in a week. Or that's her guess it might take a little longer.
When the Healing Waters Flow
God has been so good I can't complain. Every-time I ask he answers, probably not in the way I think it is gonna happen but he is the none-the-less. I have prayed so hard for Ezekiel, he has had so much pain, and the answer from the health professionals is to give him medication. I really didn't want that but there's not a lot I could do. Anyway, today they came in to give him the pain meds and he was setting up in bed and he asked "what is that?" The nurse told him it was for his pain. He told her I don't have pain so why do I need that? She said "sweety that's not possible, you just had a major surgery 4 days ago. You have to have a lot of pain. Don't try to be a hero." He said, "actually I am already a hero, and god took the pain away cause the medicine scares my mom" So the nurse left that was at 7 o'clock this morning. It is now almost 1 p.m. and still he has no pain. The nurse came in and changed his bandages and asked if he had changed his mind and he said no. She then told me she thought he would be in excruciating pain by now but he has gotten in the floor and played with his car, and his lady bug , as well as his stuffed animals. He has gotten tired and is now taking a nap. However, no pain meds today. God did this for me, I have been so worried because they say you can get addicted to morphine, but god took care of it for me. I am so very thankful, I know I wouldn't make it through this trial without god at my side holding my hand.
Ezekiel truly is my hero right now, I keep telling him this and he replies, "just don't kiss me mom" He hates it when we kiss him. He always wipes it off. when I worry and start saying things out loud about it. He always replies,"just pray mom" It is inspiring that he has that much faith. Yesterday he told me god said it's gonna be all right. And today when the doctor said he probably gets to go home tomorrow, he said I told you so. Ezekiel is so precious to me, as well as my husband and the other kids. Yesterday just thinking about not having him here had me in tears. He leaned over not knowing what I was crying about and said,"if you talk to god you will feel better." He was right and I did.
So tomorrow we get to go home Lord Willing, and I am so excited. My older girls have deep cleaned and washed walls, they also have kept the house up since I have been here with Ezekiel and I am so thankful. They are such good girls, they have done such a good job. I couldn't have managed without them.. I feel so dependent on others right now. But hopefully I can draw even closer to the Lord.
Now I have another story to tell. I was having a dream a couple weeks ago, in my dream I kept playing with this little blonde headed blue eyed boy. His features were so clear and his hair was almost white it was so blonde. I really thought I was dreaming about my son John who passed away 9 years ago, there was no volume in the dream it was like a silent movie. But I was getting so much comfort. I have wanted to dream of him for 9 years and never did it happen. Anyway, I found out I am expecting, and that night I had the dream again, only the sound was turned on. I picked him up and hugged him and said I love you sooo much. You are such a blessing then I laid him in his crib, and I said do you want to take a nap Mikey? Then I watched him close his eyes and I woke up. I had such a peaceful feeling after that. I had some complications with Faith and have been kinda scared. Anyway, Billy came home from work that evening and said I picked a boy's name. I was kinda excited to tell him maybe we should think of Michael. And he said God showed me to name our son Michael. I had to start crying, then I told him about my dream. Isn't that a wonderful thing that god showed us both at the same time. It was so awesome. Billy and I made an agreement years ago that he would name the boys and I would name the girls, and so far it has worked out pretty well. Anyway we still need prayers which I think sometimes I am a broken record saying that. However, it's true. Even though Zeke is doing so much better right now I know it could go the other way. Please help us to pray that god's will will be done but if it's his will Ezekiel won't get anymore infection. I would really appreciate it.
Ezekiel truly is my hero right now, I keep telling him this and he replies, "just don't kiss me mom" He hates it when we kiss him. He always wipes it off. when I worry and start saying things out loud about it. He always replies,"just pray mom" It is inspiring that he has that much faith. Yesterday he told me god said it's gonna be all right. And today when the doctor said he probably gets to go home tomorrow, he said I told you so. Ezekiel is so precious to me, as well as my husband and the other kids. Yesterday just thinking about not having him here had me in tears. He leaned over not knowing what I was crying about and said,"if you talk to god you will feel better." He was right and I did.
So tomorrow we get to go home Lord Willing, and I am so excited. My older girls have deep cleaned and washed walls, they also have kept the house up since I have been here with Ezekiel and I am so thankful. They are such good girls, they have done such a good job. I couldn't have managed without them.. I feel so dependent on others right now. But hopefully I can draw even closer to the Lord.
Now I have another story to tell. I was having a dream a couple weeks ago, in my dream I kept playing with this little blonde headed blue eyed boy. His features were so clear and his hair was almost white it was so blonde. I really thought I was dreaming about my son John who passed away 9 years ago, there was no volume in the dream it was like a silent movie. But I was getting so much comfort. I have wanted to dream of him for 9 years and never did it happen. Anyway, I found out I am expecting, and that night I had the dream again, only the sound was turned on. I picked him up and hugged him and said I love you sooo much. You are such a blessing then I laid him in his crib, and I said do you want to take a nap Mikey? Then I watched him close his eyes and I woke up. I had such a peaceful feeling after that. I had some complications with Faith and have been kinda scared. Anyway, Billy came home from work that evening and said I picked a boy's name. I was kinda excited to tell him maybe we should think of Michael. And he said God showed me to name our son Michael. I had to start crying, then I told him about my dream. Isn't that a wonderful thing that god showed us both at the same time. It was so awesome. Billy and I made an agreement years ago that he would name the boys and I would name the girls, and so far it has worked out pretty well. Anyway we still need prayers which I think sometimes I am a broken record saying that. However, it's true. Even though Zeke is doing so much better right now I know it could go the other way. Please help us to pray that god's will will be done but if it's his will Ezekiel won't get anymore infection. I would really appreciate it.
God is smarter than everyone but I am smarter than you mom.
God is smarter than everyone, but I am smarter than you mom. These were the words my son spoke to me yesterday as they were preparing for another surgery. We brought him in for the follow up appointment on Friday and the doctor immediately admitted him to the hospital. They found a large abcess in his stomach cavity. I was so scared and still have a lot of fear that this will come back. I got a little braver than I should have probably, and asked the doctor what would happen if we just didn't sign any papers and decided against the surgery and his response was "are you gonna make me say this in front of your son?" I was just so upset I spent the night on the computer trying to find an alternative that they would accept to the surgery, but aparently this abcess was behind something else so he couldn't go any other way. And as I keep reminding myself there is a reason for everything and god could have taken this away. So obviously we are going through this for a reason.
Ezekiel's answer was that we can go home and then go on vacation, when I said I didn't think that would work that's when he told me this. He is such a smart little boy and we love him so much. He woke up Friday morning in a fair amount of pain and when I asked him if he wanted me to call someone to pray, he asked me to call the bald elder(Bro Merl Morris) and Bro. Allen and Sis. Susan Shamburg. I actually failed him a bit. I had Billy call the Shamburgs, but I just said the elders. Then when we got up here and the doctor told us the bad news I remembered he asked me to call so I called Sis. Linda and asked them to pray. I did not however tell her Zeke had asked me to call the bald elder.
Yesterday, a nurse popped her head in the door and said good luck, she was going off shift and really fell in love with Ezekiel's personality. Anyway, as soon as she closed the door again Ezekiel said, "she should have said bad luck cause that's all I have." I was so saddened by his outlook, so I started pointing out good points and the fact that kids all over have worse luck than him. But the bad attitude is persisting. Aunt Heather was playing a video game with Billy and Ezekiel wanted to play, he started pressing buttons and pretty soon he was crying. I was all over that and told him maybe we shouldn't have tried so soon cause he was in so much pain. He was just sobbing, then a minute later he was calmed down a bit and he sobbed out "Aunt Heather didn't even give me a chance to hit her". He wasn't hurting he was a poor sport about the game. So Aunt Heather then played again and let him win four or five more times. When he was done he said Scorpions good. Right now as I type Zeke and Billy are playing the fighting game and they keep throwing back and for "cheater" or Ezekiel will say"give me a chance da da" They are finally gonna watch a movie cause Ezekiel won a couple times.
I actually just got on here to check my email and decided to look at my blog. I got soooo much comfort from your comments. I was praying that god would send me comfort cause I have cried so much I thought there were no more tears, then I looked at the comments and my eyes filled again. I am so thankful to have this wonderful God who knows my needs. I really needed the strength I was given today. Ezekiel is such a small little boy and it isn't easy to watch him go through things that I can't fix. I am really scared, well they said when I finally get to take him home he will still have an open wound, this scares the tar out of me. I am not so good with blood, and to actually have to clean and care for an open wound it's kinda scarey. But I know God can grant me the strength to do it. He has given me strength in harder situations. And I know he is with me in this situation.
Anyway if you remember us please pray for our family, we just need strength and comfort to get through this.
One more thing if any of you can see the weirdness happening on the right of my page and you know how to fix it please let me know. I have tried fro a very long time and can't get it. It's pictures and words from an earlier post entitled "happier times." Like I said, just let me know if you see it and how to fix it thanks.
Ezekiel's answer was that we can go home and then go on vacation, when I said I didn't think that would work that's when he told me this. He is such a smart little boy and we love him so much. He woke up Friday morning in a fair amount of pain and when I asked him if he wanted me to call someone to pray, he asked me to call the bald elder(Bro Merl Morris) and Bro. Allen and Sis. Susan Shamburg. I actually failed him a bit. I had Billy call the Shamburgs, but I just said the elders. Then when we got up here and the doctor told us the bad news I remembered he asked me to call so I called Sis. Linda and asked them to pray. I did not however tell her Zeke had asked me to call the bald elder.
Yesterday, a nurse popped her head in the door and said good luck, she was going off shift and really fell in love with Ezekiel's personality. Anyway, as soon as she closed the door again Ezekiel said, "she should have said bad luck cause that's all I have." I was so saddened by his outlook, so I started pointing out good points and the fact that kids all over have worse luck than him. But the bad attitude is persisting. Aunt Heather was playing a video game with Billy and Ezekiel wanted to play, he started pressing buttons and pretty soon he was crying. I was all over that and told him maybe we shouldn't have tried so soon cause he was in so much pain. He was just sobbing, then a minute later he was calmed down a bit and he sobbed out "Aunt Heather didn't even give me a chance to hit her". He wasn't hurting he was a poor sport about the game. So Aunt Heather then played again and let him win four or five more times. When he was done he said Scorpions good. Right now as I type Zeke and Billy are playing the fighting game and they keep throwing back and for "cheater" or Ezekiel will say"give me a chance da da" They are finally gonna watch a movie cause Ezekiel won a couple times.
I actually just got on here to check my email and decided to look at my blog. I got soooo much comfort from your comments. I was praying that god would send me comfort cause I have cried so much I thought there were no more tears, then I looked at the comments and my eyes filled again. I am so thankful to have this wonderful God who knows my needs. I really needed the strength I was given today. Ezekiel is such a small little boy and it isn't easy to watch him go through things that I can't fix. I am really scared, well they said when I finally get to take him home he will still have an open wound, this scares the tar out of me. I am not so good with blood, and to actually have to clean and care for an open wound it's kinda scarey. But I know God can grant me the strength to do it. He has given me strength in harder situations. And I know he is with me in this situation.
Anyway if you remember us please pray for our family, we just need strength and comfort to get through this.
One more thing if any of you can see the weirdness happening on the right of my page and you know how to fix it please let me know. I have tried fro a very long time and can't get it. It's pictures and words from an earlier post entitled "happier times." Like I said, just let me know if you see it and how to fix it thanks.
What A Difference A Day Makes.
Sleeping has definately made me feel a little better. Listening to gospel music made me feel closer to god, and helping to care for gods people made me feel like my problems were small.
I helped care for a sick sister again today and it made my problems seem smaller. Not non-existant, but deffinately smaller. As I listened to my CD's I felt closer to god, and sleeping took away my headache. So a day makes a lot of difference. And while my trials will never be over, I asked god for comfort and he deffinately lightened my load.
I am thankful today for the things and people I have. I am thankful for Sister Velvadene, she has been there and let me cry on her shoulder through some pretty rough stuff. I am thankful for my sisters, Naomi, Marisela, Heather, and Rene'. They have just let me know they're praying and told us they love us and that's what we needed above all. I am thankful for my husband, he has been my rock for a long thirteen years, and continues to support, and comfort me. I am thankful for my children, BJ who can ask more questions than 400 four year olds, Bobby my oldest daughter who has faced so much and can still smile, Charity who is so strict about following the rules(she keeps me in line sometimes jk) Daniel who's name means shock value(everything he says he hopes to make someone react in a loud way) Elizabeth, who from day one has been a great comfort in times of need, Ezekiel poor baby nobody can understand a word he says but we still try, and finally I'm thankful for Faith, whose favorite song at the moment is Barbara Manatee from Veggie Tales, and she thinks she can sing it in church.(she doesn't do anything that we don't think is cute) I'm thankful that we have a running vehicle. I'm thankful for my washer and dryer tonight, and for the laughter we are still able to find. Our philosofy "if you don't laugh you'll cry." And I hate to cry!!
Okay I think you've heard enough of my thankfulness. I learned something today, when life is at the point you really can take no more god sends comfort in the most amazing ways. For me that comfort was I GOT A HOUSE. We have been trying to find a house for 7 months. Guess why this man chose us to rent his house? Because my husband and I went to look at the house together and because we were holding hands when we walked up to say hi. Also, get this BECAUSE we have 7 Children. I am so greatful to the lord for his mercy tonight.
God comforts us in the strangest ways sometimes. Today, I was feeling sorry for myself, I was also trying to get my daughter to sleep, crying and trying to hide it. She was really cranky and needed a nap. Anyway, She reached up and put her tiny hand on my cheek and said momma sing. I'm not real good at singing but I put my whole heart into it, and I have always sung to my kids. Anyway, I really wanted comfort and had prayed for it. When I asked her what she wanted me to sing she said "Make a Blessing" it comforted me so much. "God will make this trial a blessing" is my favorite song, I learned it from my Uncle Gene and it's just a special song to me. Anyway I sung it and just singing lightened my load. I think it's harder to sing when your down so it brings you up further.
Well it's getting late, and I still need to move beds into my new to me house. Yay!!! Thank you everyone who has been praying for us. I'm thanking you because I am greatful, but I just want to let you know my family still needs the prayers DON'T STOP YET.
Tomorrow evening we are having an important meeting and would appreciate the prayers. Good night.
I helped care for a sick sister again today and it made my problems seem smaller. Not non-existant, but deffinately smaller. As I listened to my CD's I felt closer to god, and sleeping took away my headache. So a day makes a lot of difference. And while my trials will never be over, I asked god for comfort and he deffinately lightened my load.
I am thankful today for the things and people I have. I am thankful for Sister Velvadene, she has been there and let me cry on her shoulder through some pretty rough stuff. I am thankful for my sisters, Naomi, Marisela, Heather, and Rene'. They have just let me know they're praying and told us they love us and that's what we needed above all. I am thankful for my husband, he has been my rock for a long thirteen years, and continues to support, and comfort me. I am thankful for my children, BJ who can ask more questions than 400 four year olds, Bobby my oldest daughter who has faced so much and can still smile, Charity who is so strict about following the rules(she keeps me in line sometimes jk) Daniel who's name means shock value(everything he says he hopes to make someone react in a loud way) Elizabeth, who from day one has been a great comfort in times of need, Ezekiel poor baby nobody can understand a word he says but we still try, and finally I'm thankful for Faith, whose favorite song at the moment is Barbara Manatee from Veggie Tales, and she thinks she can sing it in church.(she doesn't do anything that we don't think is cute) I'm thankful that we have a running vehicle. I'm thankful for my washer and dryer tonight, and for the laughter we are still able to find. Our philosofy "if you don't laugh you'll cry." And I hate to cry!!
Okay I think you've heard enough of my thankfulness. I learned something today, when life is at the point you really can take no more god sends comfort in the most amazing ways. For me that comfort was I GOT A HOUSE. We have been trying to find a house for 7 months. Guess why this man chose us to rent his house? Because my husband and I went to look at the house together and because we were holding hands when we walked up to say hi. Also, get this BECAUSE we have 7 Children. I am so greatful to the lord for his mercy tonight.
God comforts us in the strangest ways sometimes. Today, I was feeling sorry for myself, I was also trying to get my daughter to sleep, crying and trying to hide it. She was really cranky and needed a nap. Anyway, She reached up and put her tiny hand on my cheek and said momma sing. I'm not real good at singing but I put my whole heart into it, and I have always sung to my kids. Anyway, I really wanted comfort and had prayed for it. When I asked her what she wanted me to sing she said "Make a Blessing" it comforted me so much. "God will make this trial a blessing" is my favorite song, I learned it from my Uncle Gene and it's just a special song to me. Anyway I sung it and just singing lightened my load. I think it's harder to sing when your down so it brings you up further.
Well it's getting late, and I still need to move beds into my new to me house. Yay!!! Thank you everyone who has been praying for us. I'm thanking you because I am greatful, but I just want to let you know my family still needs the prayers DON'T STOP YET.
Tomorrow evening we are having an important meeting and would appreciate the prayers. Good night.
Roll On......
I am facing a trial I never thought would be put in my way, and I really need prayers. I don't feel like I can say exactly what it is because I'm not the only one facing it, but I REALLY need you to pray for me RIGHT NOW.
I have a lot of anger toward someone right now and I don't want that. I want to be able to forgive and forget. I know I can because I have in the past.
But this brings me to the point of this blog. Can you feel like god has put to much on you, that you can't bear any more? Well we know god won't give us more than we can handle, because his word tells us so. But can we feel like he has, I have to say I have felt that way, but only long enough to "get my head in the game". When I realized I thought that way I immediately refocused my mind to the things that are important and realized that the trials were not trivial however they could be worse. Every time I have went through a trial in the last ten years I have had to remind myself of this and it makes it better. Seriously, even now I know my trial that I am facing now could be worse. I have faced a lot(who hasn't right)and every time I can look back and say god was with me and he protected me and my children. Even at times when I didn't see the protection part at first, I realized later that he was there, that even though something bad happened, it could have been worse. I remember when my son passed away, at first I was numb then later that evening it was like satan just jumped into my head and I thought, where was god, why didn't he protect my baby? I started praying as soon as I realized my thoughts and asking god to show me why this had happened, and I have to say I grew up alot in that first week. I had a lot of growing up to do and god couldn't get through to me any other way. He had tried in different ways, I would call it a trial and go on but I needed to look at the deeper meaning behind my trials cause god was trying to show and teach me something. And I learned a lot, that life is to short for little piddly fights, John was here and gone so quick, and did I do a good job of showing and telling him that the lord loved him and that I loved him. After I reflected on his life I think I could have done better. I did try to tell him everyday that I loved him, and I would sing of gods love to him all the time. His favorite song was Beautiful Star of Bethlehem, as I would sing he would say go faster mamma. Anyway, I'm getting off the point, our trials are lessons in life to teach us to be stronger and so we will draw closer to god. As we face these trials we are literally working out our souls salvation.
Everyone already knew these things I'm sure, just needed to remind myself of what is important in my life, and that things will work out.
Anyway I know I keep repeating myself but I really do need your prayers.
I have a lot of anger toward someone right now and I don't want that. I want to be able to forgive and forget. I know I can because I have in the past.
But this brings me to the point of this blog. Can you feel like god has put to much on you, that you can't bear any more? Well we know god won't give us more than we can handle, because his word tells us so. But can we feel like he has, I have to say I have felt that way, but only long enough to "get my head in the game". When I realized I thought that way I immediately refocused my mind to the things that are important and realized that the trials were not trivial however they could be worse. Every time I have went through a trial in the last ten years I have had to remind myself of this and it makes it better. Seriously, even now I know my trial that I am facing now could be worse. I have faced a lot(who hasn't right)and every time I can look back and say god was with me and he protected me and my children. Even at times when I didn't see the protection part at first, I realized later that he was there, that even though something bad happened, it could have been worse. I remember when my son passed away, at first I was numb then later that evening it was like satan just jumped into my head and I thought, where was god, why didn't he protect my baby? I started praying as soon as I realized my thoughts and asking god to show me why this had happened, and I have to say I grew up alot in that first week. I had a lot of growing up to do and god couldn't get through to me any other way. He had tried in different ways, I would call it a trial and go on but I needed to look at the deeper meaning behind my trials cause god was trying to show and teach me something. And I learned a lot, that life is to short for little piddly fights, John was here and gone so quick, and did I do a good job of showing and telling him that the lord loved him and that I loved him. After I reflected on his life I think I could have done better. I did try to tell him everyday that I loved him, and I would sing of gods love to him all the time. His favorite song was Beautiful Star of Bethlehem, as I would sing he would say go faster mamma. Anyway, I'm getting off the point, our trials are lessons in life to teach us to be stronger and so we will draw closer to god. As we face these trials we are literally working out our souls salvation.
Everyone already knew these things I'm sure, just needed to remind myself of what is important in my life, and that things will work out.
Anyway I know I keep repeating myself but I really do need your prayers.
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