Billy Joe

Okay so I realized last night that I got out of order a bit. Billy Jo is the oldest of our kids, but I think of him as our third child because it was after Charity was born that we found out about him. Billy and I thought we had life figured out we had finally figured out how to get these two crazy girls ready in time for church as well as ourselves and make it before the first preacher got on the floor. We felt we'd been through trials enough that we were gonna be on a straightaway. No trials for months maybe years. We had had some hard ones right????
Well, when we were in this mode one day(or so I received some mail addressed to Billy. I opened it before he got home and thought my world was crushed. He was being ordered to take a paternity test. I had seen the little boy a couple of months earlier and in my mind I already knew the answer. I sat around that day crying and thinking what am I gonna do. I am not the nurturing type of person that can care for a child that isn't my own. I prayed and prayed and at about two that afternoon I came to a realization. I was born god's child I was adopted and he loves me as if I was always his child. I can do this. By the time Billy got home I was in a way better frame of mind. He was shocked, but I kept saying we can do this. So needless to say he took the test and 6 weeks later we found out he was a daddy. We immediately called BJ's mom to meet BJ. We met him and I thought he was just a miniature of my husband. How could I not love him right?? Well, it wasn't quite that easy. It was very hard for me to adjust, But every night and sometimes during the day I would pray that GOd would give me a love for him as I has for my children. Well, in about 2001 we lost contact with him. We weren't able to get ahold of him for about 6 years. In 2007 my husband was wanting to move back to Wichita. It was hard for me because I wasn't very happy there. I have asthma and couldn't breathe well in the summer and for many reasons I didn't want to go. However, I was willing to go where god wanted me to go. So I prayed if we were supposed to stay in Colorado he would allow us to get in contact with BJ. Probably never happen right? 2 hours later BJ called and asked can I talk to my dad. Once again I'm sobbing and crying cause mostly I didn't have to move again, but we had also been able to contact BJ again.
A couple months later BJ came to see us. We thought he was gonna stay permanently and when he went back to WIchita I realized god had answered my prayers, I ached right in the center of my heart, knowing he was making a bad decision. It was so very hard.
However to make a long story shorter...ha ha He came back. Met the woman who is now his wife and through trial and error they are working through some rough things. They are now getting ready to have a baby in September (a girl I'm sure). and they seem so happy right now. I am so thankful that GOd brought him into our lives. He was baptized during a very hard trial that my husband and my girls and I were going through and helped us remember that forgiveness is very important. He helped us learn to forgive for the greater good even when you don't really wanna. Holding that anger closer than your children is not a good idea. And we are better for the lesson. Even when it's very hard to forgive it's what's best for you and the other person or persons involved.

it seemed ha ha)