John Ray

John was my first boy. When I was expecting him we really didn't expect him to make it. We also thought he was a girl ha ha. A girl he was not. He was born about 10 p.m. on June the 7th 1998. Billy had only been in Grand Junction a couple days. I had been here a little over a week. Maybe two weeks, Anyway, from the getgo I expected him to have problems eating and on day 3 it was no surprise when I couldn't get him to stay awake long enough to eat. And in normal freakin out Barbara fashion I started calling mom and crying and getting really scared. I may not remember this exactly correctly but I remember being so upset and saying he won't stay awake to eat. I remember feeling so small. But then Marisela came in and held him for a minute, then I remember her turning him upside down....then when he started screaming at her she flipped him back and handed him to me and said something like try now. I don't remember him having another problem after that. He had the best appetite and I didn't worry about him not eating again. He loved balls of every kind. Especially baseballs, my mom said there were so many times she would hear him yell ball and that was the only warning she had that he was throwing a baseball at her face, and she would have to duck.
I can remember when we put in the new carpet at the church he was very fussy and only singing this one Christmas song would make him happy so I set in the recliner in the church and sang beautiful star of Bethlehem over and over and if I went to slow he would say faster mama faster. I remember being so frustrated with him that day, but it's one of my favorite memories. Isn't it funny how that works?
When John was almost two he was taken from us in a fire. It was very devistating and though I can talk about him a-lot now, it still brings tears to my eyes remembering. Because I miss him so very much. I love to talk about him, because it keeps him alive in my heart. That's so important to me, I don't want anyone to forget him because for some reason it feels like if he's not remembered his life was for naught and I can't ever believe that. There was a reason god gave us that little boy if only for a short while.
To this day I can talk about him to people around here and they can remember exactly what they were doing and where they were when they heard he was gone. It's kinda weird but it brings me great comfort, because they all remember him and his life touched so many. Not just our family but people he had never even met, and some that he had. He loved to go to church, which I have found rare in children that small. Normally they don't care, but John would always ask if we were going and what day.
When I remember John, I remember a boy who loved everyone he was around. It made him feel so big to walk into church and be patted on the head by the older brethren. I remember Uncle Erwin would always tell us John sounds like a good strong Easter name. We would always laugh and then John would laugh even though we all knew he didn't understand what we were laughing about.
John loved cars, balls and family. He was a special child who seemed happy all the time. His very favorite food was raisins. And his favorite car was a miniature lambourgini that had doors that would open, he would put raisins inside and when they crashed he would eat them. His favorite toy was a football that was blue and silver, it was a nerf in his favorite team the Cowboys colors. He is missed by all those that knew and loved him.